Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

modern day Romeo and Juliet

Under-age love is one that always hurts you in the end
In the eyes of the law love can not exist between two people so different
We both know you cant run forever…I only blame myself
The options were placed on the table to turn yourself in or take your own life
I get to see you one last time…one last and final goodbye
A goodbye to our future and all the dreams we had
I was going to be your wife and spend the rest of my life with you
Its all over now our relationship diminished to nothing because of me and uncertainty
Now let me propose a solution
If you fall I fall with you, if you cry I cry with you, if you die I die with you
To lose you either because of cold metal bars or a inevitable suicide would kill me
Id rather die in the arms of my lover with fingers laced than alone in my dark room with razor in hand
Ill leave behind so much but it all will be worth it
You can be my Romeo and I can be your Juliet, modern twist on a classic
Our death will be so beautiful, lying in bed with you where I belong
A bottle of pills will do the trick, no need for a graphic demise
I will dress for perfection even though I hardly am and try to be all I can
We will kiss one last time, more passionately than ever
Look into each others eyes in fright and delight
Heart beats racing, beating in tune
Sweaty palms, a sweaty embrace
As the sickness sets in, delirious state of mind we will close our eyes and drift off to sleep
Such a pretty scene when they will find us
Ill leave this poem for them to find along with a note that says “We loved till death”

In a list

A contest entry

maybe my last poem

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 28 of 28

  • Sea-Shell
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    this is sadly romantic. you really are a beautiful writer. I love the lines "Now let me propose a solution
    If you fall I fall with you, if you cry I cry with you, if you die I die with you"
    its so aborable


  • pumpykin
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww this is so sad An extremely moving and powerful peice, I'm sure it'll do quite well in the contest


  • xxvampyregirlxx
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it! It's totally true too


  • spideracer gold member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh so sad

    Don't say that, you have talent and should keep on writing. So sad that so many young people can have thoughts of suicide when their world starts to fall apart. A great write and full of painful imagery, such sadness well put to poetry.


  • xXtired-of-cryingXx
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is still one of my personal favorites. you stick to the prompt wonderfully! the flow is great and it is just in my eyes a perrfect example of what I was looking for, and I loved the last three lines, "Such a pretty scene when they will find us
    Ill leave this poem for them to find along with a note that says “We loved till death” Thanks for the entery and congrats on making it into the finalists


  • leander Moderators member
    October 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well this one goes straight down ones spine... a poem written with words that came straight from the heart...
    Very touching...

    I got one remark to make here: punctuation.
    You have used some, but not enough to make it read fluently - and as English isn't my maternal language, punctuation is quite important to me. Especially when you're writing such long lines each time.

    anyway, I found some oopsies here and there, but most of them is that you didn't type the " ' " (I don't know the term in English so excuse me for that)

    Thank you for entering the contest!
    Leander

    • Lonely Christina
      October 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much, im glad u liked it. yea srry but when this was written i wasnt caring too much about grammer, spelling, or punct. oh u mean quotes? where do u think they should go?


      • leander Moderators member
        October 25, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        nono, not quotes.... to give an example -> wasnt should be wasn't hope I made some sense now

  • xXtired-of-cryingXx
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG!!!!! I love this, it is again exactlly what I was looking for! Thank you sooooo much for entering! XxGooDLucKxX


  • Justmenow
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i...wow...so much emotion, so many feelings, so beautiful, i relate to you so well, i hope your ok, you're so unbelievably talented, really well done, i mean it, ily.

    x


  • ProudMomma
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow! this is beautiful amazingly written! makes me want to cry in a way and i so hop eits not true!! Keep on penning dear

  • AngelOfDarkness88
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Christina...this is an amazingly well written piece.....very powerful! You have an amazing ability when it comes to expressing yourself....keep writing!


  • Unholy emo 666
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was just plain out AMAZING!! i kno how you feel! wow! AMAZING!!


  • lianna27
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    o sweetie...this is so sad makes ne feel sorry...well i am anyway...but still so good great jobb! and ya.
    -love ya
    lindsay xoxoxoxo


  • endless-lover silver member
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    babe all i got id im sorry

    xoxox

    vanna

1 - 28 of 28