The houses huddle closely to the lake
with eyes wide open, catching morning’s light
to watch the boats adrift in lazy wake.
The houses huddle closely to the lake
and grasp whatever comfort they may take
from witnessing this graceful, tranquil sight.
The houses huddle closely to the lake
with eyes wide open, catching morning’s light.
Author notes
A Triolet is a poetic form consisting of only 8 lines. Within a Triolet, the 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and the 2nd and 8th lines do as well.
The rhyme scheme is simple: ABaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines.
This triolet is written in iambic pentameter where each line has 10 syllables (5 metrical feet).
In a list
A contest entry
- Triolet PIF by carole21.
750 points, ended October 15, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How do you think I could improve this poem?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A good write and skillfully crafted triolet. Good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Nice depth of feeling. Nice use of personification. Well penned. Congratulations on winning Silver. Well deserved.
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wow...this triolet truly brings tranquility...very effective with the use of lovely descriptions... by the way congrats on the silver!
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Lovely triolet.
The final lines need to be murmured for effective atmosphere. The houses become lakeside creatures, waking up. Fine metaphor.
There is much to commend the poem in terms of assonantal vowel music. The movement of the boats as described lends a lazy atmosphere suited to the awakening day.
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a sunny take on the prompt . . thanks for the contest entry
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A poem with a 'flow'
that spins off the lips, but never let the mind wonder! The words give description and the manner in which they have been written allows observation as if there. Best for you in the contest. Frans
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A very nice take... I love the feel of this form (It's my first one) and this is a beautiful example of what's possible... well done and best of luck...
Ken
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