We are the fake smile
We are snide comments
and rude remarks
We are the mistakes you make
and the time you don't keep
We are your thoughts
and your pain
We are your weakness
and your strength
We are the food you eat
and the food you don't
We are the scars on your arms
and the blades you keep
We are the lies you tell
to hide what's beneath
Our forces combine
to wreck more havoc than anyone could ever know
we are the fake smile
and we feed on your confidence
Author notes
This was inspired by 'This is how I scream' by Acoya http://allpoetry.com/poem/4552253
What is your honnest opinion? I'm looking to improve this!
Comments
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wow i love this poem! it is so very intense in every line . and applies to so many. i mean for some faking a smile is all they ever do and its very sad. but everyone at least once in their life has done it. this poem captured reasons behind why we do it like the razors we stash. food we don't eat. ect.
great write i enjoyed it very much!
~Madison~

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Hmm, how to mix imagery with rhythm/pace... thinking about it...
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i thought this was a kool poem i love the scares on you arm part for sure


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I really like this! Though personally I think it would shine if added a bit of vulgarity?
I like the fake smiles, snide comments and rude remarks... maybe substituting the scars for scabs and hiding whats beneath to something along the lines of whats under your skin?
Just an idea.
Thorlorn




