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Never To Be

Ominous Shadows and Candle Flames,
continuous confrontation

The sun comes up or the flame goes out,
immediate extermination

A perpetual battle raging,
between very opposite things

But opposites can attract,
and so Venus pulled the strings

The contrast between them
quickly faded away

Both came into one's social lives,
and ate from Eden's buffet

Though acutely difficult to be,
when so many things are wrong

They started fraying at the seams,
and entered the usual throng

Rage, fear, and macabre,
the natural reactions return

Another day in Paradise,
one where they all burn

Venus was wrong with her decision,
she could never see

That although opposites attract,
it was truly never to be

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Xx.Toxic.xX
    April 6

    Edit | Reply
    this was nice. i liked it. you did very well with your vocabulary choice and the way it was written was beautiful. good job.


  • Lulu28
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh my gosh, do u know how messed up i am, i started to read ur poem and when i read "and so venus pulled the strings" i started laughing! and there is noting really funny about it, im increadibly stupid! lol


  • NyteShade
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love your choice of words, confrontation,extermination.
    Very well thought out Whit.
    well done

    NS


  • UnManned4Ever
    December 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like how it tells a story yet rhymes all at teh same time. Well written Whit bro! Keep up the good work


  • ByeAPCommunity
    October 9, 2008
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    this is my favorite one. it's amazingly written, Whitney!! how long did it take you to write it?


    • FieryHollow
      October 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Vanessa! It only took me about ten or fifteen minutes to write. My writer's block just disappeared and out came that


  • Lulu28
    October 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh! i love this 1!!!! and i agree w/ beth!! great write whit! HAZAH! ur writers block is gone!!! XD


    • FieryHollow
      October 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Erin, I'm glad you liked it. I hate writer's block

      • Lulu28
        October 8, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        me 2! its so annoying, espically when u thought of somthing, get like half way thorugh finishing it or w/e and then cant think anymore!!! thts been happening a lot latley 8(


  • NyteShade
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Goodbye writers block!, there's nothing like beating that particular monster lol. Nicely written here whit.


    • FieryHollow
      October 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Bell, I did enjoy beating the "monster" to a pulp tehehehe. Thanks, and cool picture, by the way


  • Dmonik
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an excellent write Whit, and a great comeback from Writers Block.
    Wonderful imagery, imagination and flow
    Terrific job Whit
    Bravo

    'D'


  • Aquarius
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! I LOVE THIS! IT REMINDS ME OF ASTROLOGY!!!
    Good, FANTASTIC job!!
    I loooove this!!
    *I'm so happy I'm like shaking... [it happens a lot haha]*
    Anywho- GREAT poem!


    • FieryHollow
      October 7, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Ahaha, thank you! I'm glad the writer's block is done and over with! Gosh, I'm so relieved, thank you so much!


      • Aquarius
        October 7, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Soo. Am I right?! Is it about astrology, it really-
        Waitt...
        Venus is Mythology.
        Haha


  • questionmark.
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really, honestly like this style with you...it fits. I love the wording and I can't give much criticism; It was very good. I seriously think you should write more like this!

    ~Bethh

    • FieryHollow
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hey Beth,
      Thanks, I do like writing in this style, it's very natural and easy for me. I love your display picture by the way


      • questionmark.
        October 7, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Oh yeah..that was last weekend at Presque Isle..long story.

        • Aquarius
          October 7, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Riley was there because I saw him with the same background as you in a picture he took
          I didn't recall seeing anyone else with a leave-picture though..

          • questionmark.
            October 7, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            yes, kara took the pictures. i slept over at her house and he came and we went to presque isle to walk for like 4 miles.

            you are uber-attentive!

            and that's a good thing

            • Aquarius
              October 7, 2008
              Edit | Reply
              Ooh sounds fun

              Ahh. I suppose I am pretty attentive. But its not always a good thing..
              I have too much information stuffed in my brain

1 - 36 of 36