Redneck Hoedown

All excited even though I aint got a dime,
no reason to sing.
Woke up this morning being poked,
by a set of bed springs.
Soemone mentioned a party,
and my eyes flew open wide.
And I yelled out YIHAW!
Gonna have a redneck hoedown tonight.

Dont take much to ready for one,
a few bags of tater chips and some liquid sun.
That home grown lightening sure packs a punch,
and rightly so when theres a bunch.

Boogar he will bring his guitar,
and Tic will bring the drums.
Although we dont have
that new fangled kind,
he just brings a couple of his
mas wash tubs its fine. 

Cooter well hes a strange one,
he whistles mighty fine.
And it's not easy fer he only
has three teeth to line.
Boomer is a real delight
he has a style all his own,
he can play a heck of a tune
using only a paper and a comb.

Farley he's a little off
but sure lot of fun,
he has this thing he does on his ma's
washboard and put the dance floor on the run.
Tooter came a little late
but we didn't pay no mind,
He was a carrying this thing called a flute
but it looked like a stick in my eyes.

We commenced to get down
and the crowd all began to show,
a few swigs from the old brown jug
and even grandma got down low .
We do this thing called the limbo
and she always puts us to shame,
but not many knows that grandma
is double jointed it was their way
of break dancing in her day.

About four thirty people started leaving
and the party was done,
The only one left on the dance floor
was granny and she callord me
and replied come on son.
She was only four foot three
and I well 6 foot two,
So I just picked her up
and she commenced to flawg me
for grandma twernt amused. 

Fists out front and white nuckled
they were and  granny had lost her cool,
and she kicked at his leg and replied
you gotta be a ignorant fool.
I held my hand atop her head
and said woh granny woh,
And about that time
she whipped out a kitchen knife
and I yelled hey Cooter we gotta  go.