In the hour of our deaths,
Pray for us, Pray for us,
Light the incense,
and weep,
Together we lay upon a bed of innocence,
Pray for us,
Fucking under the alter,
Pray for us,
Lord hear our prayer,
She bows in the church garden, beautiful.
Garbed in Virgin blue,
Between her fingers, a glowing cigarette.
Ashes to ashes,
Thrusting, Thrusting.
Angel statues shed crystal tears,
and Graves crumble at our feet,
Love is a crucifixion.
A contest entry
- Halloween contest for men only (adult) by JinSays.
1500 points, ended November 4, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 147 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever by fairytalelovestory.
675 points, ended October 3, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best freeverse. by jayyniecakes..
400 points, ended March 19, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You spin me right round... by Miss Macabre.
530 points, ended June 24, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites - What ever you like! by dutch2lips.
400 points, ended August 4, 439 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze me. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended August 2, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Angel statues shed crystal tears,
and Graves crumble at our feet,
Love is a crucifixion.
this is wonderful.
thanks for entering,
best of luck. -
a deep write, thank you for entering
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A good write, twisted and dark like I wanted. I like the repetition, it was stressing the point that praying needed to be done, lol. Good luck to you!
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I'm not really sure what to think about this poem... It surely is a nice thought in some way to die in the midst of the 'action' if you know what I mean, but it's quite morbid as well...
Anyway, you did pretty good with the imagery here. For the rest I couldn't find any flaws.
Thank you for entering the contest!
Leander -
I liked it! I love anything that has a religious bend to it, in sex. For it is organized religion that put us in our sexless existences in the first place.
LOVE IS A CRUCIFIXION. . . yes it is, isn't it? I don't think I've ever heard that before. Kudos for giving me something to be proud to have in my contest, thank you.
Much love always,
jin

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oh wow. I don't know what to say. This is so sad. you wrote it beautifully depicting. hhhhhmmmm... leaves me contemplative.
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This is a georgous piece with brillian wording. A poem in each line; especially the last one.
1 - 7 of 7







