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In the hour of our death

In the hour of our deaths,
Pray for us, Pray for us,
Light the incense,
and weep,

Together we lay upon a bed of innocence,
Pray for us,
Fucking under the alter,
Pray for us,
Lord hear our prayer,

She bows in the church garden, beautiful.
Garbed in Virgin blue,
Between her fingers, a glowing cigarette.
Ashes to ashes,
Thrusting, Thrusting.

Angel statues shed crystal tears,
and Graves crumble at our feet,
Love is a crucifixion.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Antebellum
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    Angel statues shed crystal tears,
    and Graves crumble at our feet,
    Love is a crucifixion.

    this is wonderful.
    thanks for entering,
    best of luck.


  • dutch2lips gold member
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    a deep write, thank you for entering


  • Miss Macabre
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    A good write, twisted and dark like I wanted. I like the repetition, it was stressing the point that praying needed to be done, lol. Good luck to you!


  • leander Moderators member
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm not really sure what to think about this poem... It surely is a nice thought in some way to die in the midst of the 'action' if you know what I mean, but it's quite morbid as well...

    Anyway, you did pretty good with the imagery here. For the rest I couldn't find any flaws.

    Thank you for entering the contest!
    Leander


  • JinSays gold member
    October 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it! I love anything that has a religious bend to it, in sex. For it is organized religion that put us in our sexless existences in the first place.

    LOVE IS A CRUCIFIXION. . . yes it is, isn't it? I don't think I've ever heard that before. Kudos for giving me something to be proud to have in my contest, thank you.
    Much love always,
    jin


  • raw love
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow. I don't know what to say. This is so sad. you wrote it beautifully depicting. hhhhhmmmm... leaves me contemplative.


  • CoundessaScarlotti
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a georgous piece with brillian wording. A poem in each line; especially the last one.

1 - 7 of 7