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God in an Apple

This is the first, the last, the greatest temptation.
Think quick, move fast-- choose your salvation.
Struggle through today, in hopes of a bright tomorrow,
or wave patience away to end your earthly sorrow.

This could be everything mortals have dreamed,
but absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Author notes

10.07.08
Vaughn.

Prompt (title):
God in an Apple

Disclaimer: my family is not religious at all. Personally, I'm atheist, so I doubtlessly got this all wrong.

In any case, the idea for this poem:
Why did Adam and Eve get kicked out of Eden? They tried to eat the forbidden fruit and become Gods, in the sense of intelligence and awareness of the world. Essentially, God was contained in the fruit, thus "God in an Apple."

And they had a choice: to live life in the here and now, trying to make the most for themselves on Earth, or they could live in hopes of going to Heaven.

But with knowledge comes power, and thus corruption. Would humans have been better off in ignorant bliss?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Harlequin Dance
    October 24, 2008

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    Short but awesome. When I gave you the title I was thinking of Adam and Eve as well, and it was pleasantly surprising to see you respond along the same lines. Good job, and best of luck in the contest


  • Flater 420
    October 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The idea behind it that you explain in the notes, i like it...
    But somehow it bothers me that you need a "sideline text" to explain the poem :-/ And why not let the last part rhyme like all the other lines?
    Btw, atheist, or agnostic?

    • copper29
      October 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Atheist =)

      To be honest, I was bored out of my mind when I added the "sideline text" so I decided to reread my poem and muse about it. I didn't add the rhyme because I wanted it to stand out a bit from the rest of the poem.

      Thanks for the comments. I'll definitely take them into consideration.


      • Flater 420
        October 27, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        You stubborn atheist

        For me, a poem has to kind of "guide" the reader through what you want to show/tell them. Personally, I don't like poems that take days work to understand By that i don't mean only use simple sentences, certainly not. The best poem ever written for me was the Raven, and that's a nice example of extensice word usage, yet "guiding" the reader.

        Yes i know i can bore ppl with my comments. It is a skill i acquired and I am proud of it


  • apropos
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like where you took the prompt. well done!

  • Harlequin Dance
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Title Prompt: God in an Apple

    Take it where you will.

1 - 6 of 6