You've always been there for us all, in trials and tribulations seen,
By us as insurmountable, you've acted as a go-between,
And somehow made the day seem brighter, not so dark as seen before,
When hurt and real-life got to us, and light flew out of Heaven's door,
We thank you for that valued input, that you always seem to give,
We owe you everything, and wish you love, as long as you may live,
It's not that easy for you now to fill the role that's so sincere,
But just the fact that you have been our guide's enough, our path stayed clear.
Thank you Mum and Dad !
Author notes
Option 1
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you think this sounds ok ?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Hi, feel free to check out my poem: Live With Purpose.
Thanks. -
Excellent
I loved it. It's good to appreciate your parents, and to appreciate God. I wrote a simular poem thanking my parents some years ago in 2003. So I always appreciate someone who appreciate values, and the people who instilled values in them.
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Thanks for advice
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Your option is obvious, but posting the number you chose in Author Notes is Required to keep the poem from being DisQualified.
Technical things first: in the first line, a space is needed to make “all,in” = “all, in”.
second line, a space is needed between “insurmountable,” and “you've”.
Line four needs a space between “us,” and “and”.
No misspellings. Good for you!
OK. The poem expresses what sounds like heartfelt sentiment toward very beloved and deserving parents. (You could print this out, pretty, frame it and give it to Mum and Dad for an additional Christmas present.) You give us a picture of lives being sheltered by the love of parents. It’s a pretty picture. I hope you are with AllPoetry for a long time.
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Thank you for the sound advice
It's great that you have been so nice
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Tirbute to parents is lovely. They do alot for us all through our lives. The only thing I would suggest is shortening the lines. It seemed to throw off the flw of the poem. It didn't sound ll uniform to me. It could be just me. I wish you luck in the contest.
Lady Altheia
site greeter -
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Thank you, the poem is in rhythm, but you have to read it carefully through.
Jo Sparkes
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Thanks is such a beautiful word.. and in a poem.. needless to say, its more wonderful
U have done a good job in thanking parents.. thanks for the entry!!
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello josparkes,
This is a wonderful tribute to your parents. So many children dont understand or appreciate the love and care their parents give until it is too late.. or until they are grown and have already created heartache for the two people who love them the most.
I grew up with only my mom. and I always knew the things she gave up so I could have the things I needed. I may not have had a lot, but I had love growing up. I love that you are writing a tribute to your parents.
Criss
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Thank you very much for that lovely reply. I appreciate it very much. As I have mentioned before, this is a tribute to my husband's parents, but it is thoroughly deserved anyway.
Jo Sparkes
29/10/2008
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Welcome to All Poetry
A beautiful tribute to your Mum and Dad for sure! I am sure they are going to love this.. It would make a great Christmas gift for them.
I would hate to see this get DQ'd for not having an option in your author's note. If you are unsure how to do that I would happy to tell you how to correct that.
Best of luck in this contest!
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
A beautiful tribute of thanks to your parents, who unconditionally give their all to make us who we are today. Wondreful work here.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is such a wonderful poem. You do need to acknowledge which option it is though, so it can be credited appropriately. Beautiful write, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Welcome to All Poetry
A very nice tribute to your parents. I think that you have done a nice job with this. One suggestion though, you may want to add the option number in your AN, I wouldn't want to see you get DQ'd. Best of luck! -
Welcome to Allpoetry!
I have always been a sucker for a good dedication-poem! Like you have written, I am quite close to my mum and dad, and I have no idea what I'd have done without their love and guidance. Your parents are definitely lucky to have a child so grateful as you are!
This is just brimming with love, and I think I'm off to go give my mum a hug now! All the best to you, now and always!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a beautiful dedication poem I really love the way you express so much in so few lines - the rhyme gives this poem a nice rhythm and it is easy to read and understand - I think we can all relate to this in some way I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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welcome to allpoetry
Awesome. Being a parent is absolutely the hardest job in the world. I know and undertsand this well. Even though my parents and I don't always agree I still appreciate them very much.
Thank you for sharing such a heart-felt write.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Don't forget to add your option number to your notes section.
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi josparkes
This is a great poem for your parents, you have written this very well and ofcourse it's a thoughtful thing you have done.
Good on you. Goodluck in the contest
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welcome to all poetry
Hi josparkes
This is awesome, i have a mom and dad like this. I know i can always count on them no matter what. Well done poet Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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Thank you very much for your kind words !
It is very thoughtful that so many comments were submitted by quite a lot of people, in response to my poem re Mum and Dad. They are actually my husband's Mum and Dad, but I call them Mum and Dad, as they have always been there for us.
Dad is not too well now, as he has had 2 strokes, and is only partially sighted, and needs a lot of help etc. We as the family do what we can where possible.
Thank you so much,
Jo Sparkes
Norfolk
29/10/2008
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