In constant pain
feeling each moment
doctors all claim
take more medicine.
The side effects
excessive sleeping
don't plan a life
you're memory's lost!
Out of the two
I dislike the most
I'ill miss a lot of life
time will fly right by.
I scream and cry
pain go away
tossing and turning
no more of this.
To live this way
my back in pain
]unable to think
unable to comprehend.
Afraid of losing
any memory left
time with no meaning
the year flies by.
All I have left to
get me through life
is the love I feel
and the caring I give.
I wish this pain
would just go away
stop all the meds
I just want a pain free day!
A contest entry
- Bright White Jackets by AutumnsFlame.
2667 points, ended January 20, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Usually and most likely I will edit this. But since it touched on my real life, I'd rather leave it lay for the time being. To much of a reminder of my life that I am not proud of. Though these things happened with no fault of mine,(I was hit on the side of my car)
I'm bothered by allowing it. Reality isn't the greatest part of ones life.
Still I appreciate ones thoughts and will keep them in mind. Maybe at a later date.
Rose -
My first thought was that this should have more imagery. Freeverse poetry is hard to pull off, even I can't do it well myself. What makes freeverse poetry good is the imagery and feeling. Also, I think that once you hit the fifth stanza, it kind of switched it's flow because the lines became longer than the other half of the poem. This was a good poem, but I think it could be better. Thank you for entering my contest.
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