Listen up
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1583&ArtistID=9993
Teeter totter playground
Off the slide, I make no sound
I hit the sand then run around
On the swings I will be found
At teeter totter playground
Teeter totter playground.
We latchkeys gather at the spot
Reminisce and talk a lot
We play a game called truth or dare
To lose remorse, and just not care.
There's my teacher, autumn dress
I have a crush I must confess
She's thirty-two, but I'm just eight
I doubt that we could procreate
On teeter totter playground.
The parents denied the ride and lied to deceive them
The pressure capped over, held under, hiding these creatures.
But now leaks have gathered a lather of rabid dementia
Just remember, because they won't, I betcha.
Teeter totter playground
On the swings, I have been found
Holding my torn teacher's dress
I'm one up, and she's one less
Her make-up is a tear-streaked mess
On teeter totter playground.
For teeter totter playground
I built a shrine to the sound
The children all laugh at me
The merry-go-round of uncertainty
For teeter totter playground.
The parents denied the ride and lied to deceive them
The pressure capped over, held under, hiding these creatures.
But now leaks have gathered a lather of rabid dementia
Just remember, because they won't, I betcha.
On teeter totter playground
The latchkey kids are underground
Necklaced keys have turned noose
On the gallows of their self-abuse
The massacre was self-induced
On teeter totter's playground.
Listen up
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1583&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
My take on the colombine incident
64.34.180.106/songs.aspx?SongID=1583&ArtistID=9993
Written January 25th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- SCHOOL SHOOTINGS(CONTEST) by Viyanna Rosemarie.
300 points, ended February 24, 2006, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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AWESOME
We latchkeys gather at the spot
Reminisce and talk a lot
We play a game called truth or dare
To lose remorse, and just not care.
this is such a sad statement in this write. i just listened to the song also. you impress me with both you writing and your musical ability. thank you for entering this into the contest for my daughter. viyanna r langager -
you can click on the music above now.
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thank you for entering this into this contest. viyanna
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Woah.That was very very good.
Thanks much,for entering my contest.All the best
..Tara
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Lol. This is pretty good. I normally don't like reading lyrics all too much for the simple fact that I can't hear the accompanying music as well. However, I think it was a very creative thing to add a link to the actual song. Great work, and keep writing
~Smidge~ 
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yikes. another heavy poem. very good. i like how you incorporated a possible reason for what the student did to his teacher. it flowed nicely and the repitition was not overwhelming. great write.
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slightly differentiated point of view from you on Columbine massacre...part of my take lies below at less then six feet under...
An' little orphan Annie says,
"Most school days make her blue,
when the playground chatter sputters
and the winds they go wooooooooo-oooooooooo."
"When the birdies stop their singing,
and the clouds get dark, and grey,
as your heart it starts to flutter
and your thoughts scream, "RUN AWAY!!!"
"Oh, you'd better mind your parents
and your teachers through the years,
and cherish them that love you
and dry each loser's tears,
and never mock the rejects
lest they eject empty shells
sending all who think they're better
off to death and living hells
just help those sad, and lonely kids
who cluster all about......
else some crazy kid'll get ya
If you don't Watch Out!!"
Edited on Apr 20, 8:47 p.m. because ''. -
to hear the song, press the link, I think you'll like it.
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This is an excellent piece of writing...I like the repeating line of "teeter totter playground"...it seemed to add an innocent feeling to a topic that's not really innocent at all...
The rhyme was well done, the flow was good...this was unique and very well written. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck.
-Emily
Edited on Apr 20, 6:58 p.m. because ''. -
You haven't heard this song?
You should, it's good.
Just go to gangbox.com
the musics going good,
my album 'Junk Jazz' is
available, along with my other
two albums, and they're all really
good, I'm proud of my babies. -
I only read this once and for some reason a picture of some trigger finger happy gunslinger on a playground came to mind. I will read it again, I might have missread something somewhere.
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great write keep it upIM me maybe we could talk soon
love yas
~steff~ -
Good write, it seemed choppy in some areas, but still neat wording and theme.
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Amazing and strong
Scuffed up playground memories... Remember telling Mom only half-truths of how my skirt got torn and knee's dirty...
Odd how I came to read this piece. You said you loved my named, so thought I should check you out. Just last week I was asking some friends at work, what ever happened to the "teeter-totter"? You just don't see them at the parks anymore. Perhaps "BigBrother" finds them unsafe. Or perhaps kids play alone and are told not to play with strangers? How do you make friends if you don't dabble with strangers? This sparks something in me, something deep, something sacred, something from MY teeter-totter playground.
Bravo!
Slips a tear down the slide, one fast twirl, and up and downs then *stomps -
"She's thirty-two, but I'm just eight
I doubt that we could procreate"
I wish I could take those two lines to carry with me. -
I loved recess, eating my red apple and honey bun
But damn we never had a teeter totter lol
Nothing to do but play I Spy or softball
Thanks for the knee skinned memories lol~
Hugs
Susan~~~~~
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I loved recess
But damn we never had a teeter totter lol
Nothing to do but play I Spy or softball
Thanks for the knee skinned memories lol~
Hugs
Susan~~~~~
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i loved recess i was always falling off the teeter totters becuase i suck at keeping my balance...heh...nicely done...brought back memories
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lol.
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I am not a fan of this trumped up tightly bound anal retentive rhyming scheme either, mainly because I don't believe in poetry and I don't believe in you. Constraints are downers man, made up by the MAN imposed by the man, man! You see, when you have to use rhyme and sometimes meter it shows that you had to think about what you were going to say, and maybe even add a measure of eloquence to spice things up, to get the readers attention.....frankly I would never support such an endeavour. You sir, are dismissed you may leave now. (Thank You)
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horus8...you are like so grounded...lol
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although i'm not a fan of such a tightly structured rhyming scheme, the theme of this is quite poignant to the lonliness and consequences faced by so many youth.
much respect.
l-. -
The first layer you get when you read this, is the sing-song of the rhyme, the kid's games, the teacher's crush, but - if you look beneath that...its so dark and cold here I got a little shiver up my spine.
Taking down and noting all the things that shape what we call "today"...none of them necessarily right, and all of them with consequence..
"Necklaced keys have turned noose" I don't find this kiddy at all, I feel thats just the vessel you used to get the point across..at least, thats how I'm reading it.
~Ody~ -
too kiddy, and not really up with my mood...
but i always remembered reccess, and the "kissing tag" i was always it...
weird.
Nyx... -
Rabid Dementia
Well fine. I waited around for someone else to go first, but no one has sat down long enough to whimper out any squeeze-dried tears, so I shall.
This is the genesis of "Brief Encounters", is it not?
Well told and I filter this through the sieve of time, but you come out as you went in - I'll bet you still make no noise off the teetertotter.
My favorite lines are towards the end, where "necklaced keys have turned noose" -- interesting, but perceptive, if not a bit apocalyptic in tone.
I think I've developed a lather of rabid dementia, so I'll just go quietly out to the playground, but I was always a Monkey Bars kinda guy.
Edited on Jan 25, 10:14 p.m. because 'wrong words, alas oh no'.
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