I plea
loose insanity's
grip on me
it takes hold as I battle it
death grip
strangling my mind
I sit
and sip my latte
the world around me moving on
as though
nothing were wrong
but I know better
it's all in my head
this raging war
between reality
and the placid pain i feel
it settles in the cobwebs
in the corners of my imaginings
waiting
for the opportune moment
to strike
revealing for the world to see
my insanity
my pen moves
of it's own accord
spilling words I dare not think
I cannot believe
I'm this far gone
please help me
throw a line to my sinking ship
so I can grab a hold
rescue me from the waves
of desperation misunderstood
suddenly
the espresso tastes bitter
and I set it aside to avoid
becoming sick
but though my body still functions
as best it can
my spirit flies away
leaving my emotions to torment me
as twisted and non-sensical as the art
on the walls around me
take my heart in your hands
glue the pieces back together for me
for I am incapable
the sunset I see through the window
beyond gourmet advertisements
reminds me
even as darkness falls
there's beauty in the making
pity, the process evades my soul
dashing away
out of reach
for I would have my spirit to not be
bereft of beauty
these musings of my aching head
tumble about inside
never falling into sensible lines
I give up
I pay for my coffee and step
outside
breathing the fresh, clean, just-rained air
escaping from the little shop
my asylum
the inspiration to my insanity
Author notes
09-11-08
Please tell me your honest opinion
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hmm. That's in interesting take on the daydreaming woman you might oftentimes see at Starbucks and the like.
I particularly enjoyed the kind of description you gave the coffee shop itself, as it stands powerfully as the kind of vivid mental picture I can really imagine and get behind.
The perspective of the asylum, or insanity, seems a bit strange. I cannot comprehend what kind of place it is like, either physically or emotionally outside of being sickening.
Perhaps that was your intent, the dichotomy of the physical shop itself versus the atmosphere one can find themselves in. If it was not however, I personally advise just a bit more description on -how- it is insane.
Again, the images and feeling is all there, I just sense a slight lacking of how. But perhaps I'm just looking too far beyond the beans of oh-so glorious coffee.
Overall, very good.
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Wow... I loved this...the entire time I pictured a lonely woman in the Coffee Shop ...to herself, paying no attention to those around her...feeling alone, with no escape from insanity. Yet, at the same time, she is happy in her own little world, viewing the beauty that is in her surroundings, but also sees the balance between the beautiful and the darksided. The title is very catchy and matches the poem perfectly.
As she steps out of the coffee shop, it makes you wonder what lies ahead of her.
VERY nicely done!!
ASM
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very well written...
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wow. that is amazing. the wordage used! just absolutely... wow... wow and amazing are pretty much the only words I can think up right now. This was so deep, I could've sworn you were years older than you are. Simply amazing... Wow... I'm sure those are getting redundant, but I loved it that much!
You are my inspiration to insanity lol.
because i want to give you more clappies, i'm going to put them here.
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ed = eating disorder - I guess not, as you already explained. It was probably these lines that made me think that... "but though my body still functions
as best it can
my spirit flies away"
Either way I really like it. Hope you're feeling better now? xx -
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not really, but i always survive
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Oh I'm sorry. Good that you have a positive outlook keep
smiling
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i like it ai lready told what i thought about it maybe it because of where u work
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I like it. The imagery is good. Is it about an ed? x
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an ed? explain..
in any case, it's just about me having a broken heart, being extremely depressed, going through a detatched phase where everything is abstract and simple and generally feeling like i could be diagnosed as clinically insane if anyone ever took a good look at my mind's inner workings. and it's set in a coffee shop because that's where i work
but still you'll have to enlighten me on the "ed".. i'm clueless
~m~
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