a gentle carress up
my thigh, curves--
sweeping brush
across my cheek
a tickle on my nose--
turns thoughtless fingers
prodding, anticipating
wanting
capturing things unwilling.
taunting, unescaping
harmful grasps
gripping parts, pounding
bruising dreams
colliding
unprotected -- unforgiving
innocence stolen with force.
battled with scars
glowing
mishandled...
Author notes
edited "innocence stolen and forced" to "stolen with force." 101008
Please tell me what you think or not?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really enjoyed this read. A couple stanzas really stood out:
taunting, unescaping
harmful grasps
gripping parts, pounding
bruising dreams
colliding
The use of the words really convey so much here. "unescaping", "harmful grasps", "buising dreams colliding" these words paint a picture that is sharp and direct as the feelings.
The last stanza...is just kind of eerie (for lack of a better word). "glowing" in the middle made me wince -- it is the right word to emphasize the images you surrounded it with.
You have a lot of talent. Keep up the good work.
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this is very strong and filled with emotion. Kind of a reigned in anger ... good job
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Wonderful imagery. Very powerful
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A very intense portrayal of abuse ...
starting with seemingly soft innocent touches, then robbing innocence with brutal force, destroying dreams and sending trust to decay.
The inner eye reads in the final stanza star mishandled ... Let your beautiful star glow, Precious one, above the reminders of scars. And, after naming, blaming and shaming, may forgiveness be the balm to your suffering soul.
Much Love
Myra
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this is so deep sad and painful it makes me hurt!! Great portrayal!!
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"bruising dreams" -sad sigh-
I am speechless...
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The minimalist approach really works here. The jilted rhythm brought about by the choppy punctuation and word selection adds to the ramping up of tension and the increasing confusion and panic of the subject of the poem. The first two lines do well to suck the reader in, what with a clever line break and a sensous undercurrent. I don't applaud much, so I can truly say you've earned it. Good write all around.
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