Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

being not me and honest

 

 eating disorder

 

I am a blemished lamb,

my spots just show me how weak I am.

[or maybe I am stronger than you want me to believe]

I'll preach to myself about how I'm loved

and then go purge what breakfast was.

Is that love?

 

~ I don't think I'm ready for the answer yet ~

 

People want to blame what's on TV,

the way she looks and what is said to me.

But I point fingers at all of you,

where was my encouragement when I was blue?

[my enemies were there before you were]

 

So if I take that rationale,

then why do you care if I eat a meal?

What on earth is the big deal?

[from what I'm told, I don't need to be that thin]

 

It's funny how you say you care,

because when I get home,

you are never there.

[dinner is always up to me]

 

~ Maybe he'll notice me if I'm a couple sizes smaller ~

 

You're right,

I don't love me.

But you don't love me either.

 

Author notes

What's sad is how true this scenario probably is for a lot of people.

†Photo Inspiration†

http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l289/AbusedFlower/Thinspo/616303e4d9dc0352423de5bd9186adf9.jpg

AP Family Member: AP Brother

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Guerrero
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    wow.. its totally frigging tru. unbelievably tru. it tells actually the main reason ppl with eating disorders have them. and no one understands, that its their fault not the tv or class mates. the. it drives me nuts. anyway great write


  • Night Terrors
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    I have a confession to make I use to be this way. It almost destroyed me totally. It took me nearly dieing to realise I was already beautiful. at least were it counts.

    The Positives:

    great poem loved your imagery it was just wonderful

    Room For Improvement:
    Nothing I can see you did wonderful



    My Favorite Part:
    So if I take that rationale,

    then why do you care if I eat a meal?

    What on earth is the big deal?

    [from what I'm told, I don't need to be that thin]


    this really brought back some black memories
    Overall:

    I give this an 9/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • starving4perfection
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is an amazing poem =) its very well written...and i can relate...keep up the good work! =D

  • celadia
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is an interesting take on eating disorders in that you don't blame the media. I like it, it's wonderful and strong.


  • Zenda-Lokki gold member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you got all that from the picture?? Amazingly written.
    Good luck in the contest and congrats on the honourable mention trophy.


  • Kathraina silver member
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad. I've been there a time or two. I struggled with bulemia for a year because of it. Good job on this piece.


  • UnHoLy-VeNgEaNcE
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow honest


  • fairytalelovestory
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ty for entering good luck


  • Paloszoo gold member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You've done a great job portraying an issue that's epidemic in today's society. Very thought-provoking and touching. Well done!

  • headintheclouds
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awwww. Its a good thing to express yourself in poetry! Dont become anorexic I have a friend who is and she totally messed her life up! Good write I feel like I can relate. Good luck in my contest!


  • ImUrFadingMemory
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow very intense. the last line is perfect. it fits great. i know that feeling. great write. good luck in the contest.
    ~Madison~


  • Dirty and Broken
    October 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow...this is beautiful....
    my favorite is the first stanza
    thank you so much for entering


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very powerful and sad poem, but also well-written. What is so amazing to me is that some of us used "fat" as a defense, not to get love, but to stay safe (or safer) and that is un-self-loving in a different way than "thin" but just as effectively self-destructive. How many paths we try, as we search for real love. Definitely a poem worth reading!


  • transcendental baby gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Speaking as someone who gets addicted to that buzz of starvation from time to time ... it really isn't about self-loathing as much as it is about taking control of your own torture. And it is addictive to feel on the edge sometimes. And not all that sad ... at least in the short term when you're still healthy ... or believe you are.

    You do a wonderful job of putting yourself into the tortured minds of your characters. But I think you see them too much as some misunderstood fairy children or something. Unhappy people torture themselves, mainly because self-pity is a major high. They suffer because it feels good/bad to be that special ... that tragic, that misunderstood ... that insane. I'm speaking from experience, hon, so don't get your panties in a wad. I know very well what nightmares lead people into their despair. But you know, there comes a time when you've got to grow some balls and decided that your worth fighting for and take responsibility for my own health and happiness ... that's all anybody can do. Everybody is fighting their own demons so why should anyone think other people should pander to their poor pitiful needs when they've got their own business to take care of. Sorry ... I guess I've lived too long to be impressed by baby-faced angst ... though I'm very impressed by your writing skills. You're a gifted writer

    I hope you won't block me for my opinions ... others have and that's just a form of fascism I think


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      October 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No don't worry, I won't get my "panties in a wad". Thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate you sharing them.


  • HopelessDreams
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well done here my friend. This was so sad but yet I can somehow relate. You captured a combination of not only emotion but meaning. The language and the poem itself was also well done. Keep it up!


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. The last three lines take my breath away! The humanity in them is very sad and so true. Great job!


  • penman gold member
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    A very powerful creation. So very well expressed and crafted. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Dead Star--x
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sad& so true..
    †Finalist†

    ♥

    Dead Star--x

1 - 20 of 20