Well let me tell you straight ‘cause I’m that kinda gal.
I’m a maverick you see but I can be a pal.
I’m just a soccer Mom and I’m really kind of fun
if you overlook the fact that I pack a gun.
I know you’ve heard the stories all about the moose
and how I shot it dead when it was on the loose.
The story isn’t true – you now how stories are.
I didn’t shoot the damn thing until I hit it with my car.
Now you may think I’m old fashioned. I still believe in God.
although He’s a little slow so sometimes I give a prod
and remind Him that the Bible contains the list of sins
subject to interpretation by the Reverend Ed Kalnins.
I follow all the rules and practice them everyday
like the Golden Rule “love others unless they’re gay.”
I mean, come on, we know marriage wasn’t meant for them.
Why even in the Good Book it says we should condemn.
I think public education should teach abstinence as the way.
My daughter? Oh, I think she was out sick that day.
These little glitches happen so don’t you be fretting.
You’re all invited to attend a Wasilla shotgun wedding.
So hold on to your questions which I’ll probably ignore.
I just want you to know who’ll be minding the store
if anything should happen to my soulmate John.
I’ll be standing strong to protect you from I-ron.
I’m just like all you Joe Six-Pack’s. I’m strong as any man.
You’re safe with me...
...assuming you haven’t divorced a member of my clan.
Addendum (added after the latest debate)
“The heels are on, the gloves are off”
and so the truth falls in a trough.
Our plans are thin as dime-store tissues
and so we’ll avoid the pressing issues.
The only chance we have to win
is to spread fear from within.
"We have met the enemy - and he is us" Pogo
Author notes
Prompt: Celebrating Idiotic Alaskan Sarah The Moose-Muncher
Picture Credit: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/ig/Sarah-Palin-Pictures/Palin-Armed.htm (Please note, this is a FAKE photo, not real except in spirit 
)
No limit
In a list
A contest entry
- Celebrating Idiotic Alaskan Sarah The Moose-Muncher by Edna Sweetlove.
300 points, ended October 15, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Comments Always Welcome but I Won't Turn Down Fluffy One's Either :D
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I'm shocked to hear the photo isn't genuine. Which bit is fake? I bet it's the legs.
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My money's on the soul... Thanks for the shiny, dear lady... I appreciate it...
Ken
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Standing "O"!!! The woman makes my teeth ache.
surely it is all a practical joke - a particularily unpleasant one.
Great work.
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Omg Ken, this one's so full of humor it made me laugh so bad I fell off my chair! (Too bad the seatbelt idea didn't work)
I am so adding this one to my favotes!
Best of luck in the contest!
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Did you hear the one when her daughter said she wanted to go out clubbing and Sarah said, "Would that be homos or russkies, darlin'?"
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I thought it was baby seals What do I know?
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I FEEL THE NEED TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS BECUASE THIS PIECE IS SO GOOD! ITS CLEVER, FUN AND TOTALLY HER! THE PICTURE IS... WELL IT'S ALMOST VOMIT-INDUCING WHICH REALLY ADDS TO THE WICKEDNESS OF THIS PIECE.
AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!
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This is funny!! I know it's done tongue in cheek
I don't know much about her, only the little bit we see on the news here.. but it's a great satire on all the media plays!!
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"Joe Six-Pack",eh?
...I've heard she drinks Belgian beer, and has been to parties were they've served French wines!
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It's all part of her "foreign experience" Gosh sometimes I wonder just how stupid we are... we are becoming a nation of "sheeple"... Thanks for the read and comment.
Ken
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oh you are so not right... lol in all honesty.. its great. lol. gave me a good laugh. funny this should be about her, I saw her pic earlier on the aol website while checking my email.
Excellent job. good luck in the contest
kat
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