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hateful eyes

pain, pain
it drips and falls
but hateful eyes
that beats them all
race, race
eyes to mine
the hatred falls
to my spine
hate, hate
love will undue
cause when hateful eyes fall
it cradles you

Author notes


Written January 25th, 2004

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • a means to an end
    June 7, 2007

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    this reminds me of gaars eyes. if u havent seen naruto you wouldn't get this but look up his picture. his eyes are filled with hatred that you described in this poem. i totally think that you have his down to a t. his name alone means hate but he carved the word love onto his forehead. representing his love for hate, he fights only for himself . his eyes are sooooo dark and outlined from lack of sleep that it looks like eye liner. but alsas he cannot sleep or the demon inside is anime body will take over. this is an amazing write and i think if you look at the pic u will see that i am right. AWESOME


  • thelovesongwriter
    May 31, 2007
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    great job! but one thing, not enough imagery. good job overall and good luck


  • JUST bLaZe
    May 7, 2004
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    wow, great write, you caught all the emotion in a small poem, not many people can do that, but like i said, great write, keep it up, id like to check out some of your other work...

    -tommy


  • bloody tears
    May 7, 2004
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    Nice poem, I just clicked on it and im really glad i did. It's short but still really good i think. It has everything in it, the feelings and descriptions and it jsut fits together really well. Good write.. *Beki*


  • Thomas Vaughan
    May 7, 2004
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    cause when hateful eyes fall
    it cradles you

    how true these words are, it is most always the cruel looks, the unwanted touches, the whispered words that are the equavilant of supposed love. I do not know why these are the things that are kept in our memories, but they are. Like naked skeltons they often come out of closets to chase us down. But do you not realize that it does not have to be that way. At the risk of angering you once again, I hope at some point you realize that you are loved by someone, somewhere someone is thinking of you. Even if it is only I, looking through the words you write. I am very thankful that you have let us into you anger, through it you will arrive at a brighter tomorrow.....


    until next time
    Tom
    Edited on May 07, 10:56 because 'of clarity and typos'.

1 - 5 of 5