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Keeping Post

Missing image

He sits propped up against a truck
waiting for some sign
The dessert heat has been so harsh
and he has yet to eat

He stays at his post, no matter what
giving hours, even days
What he wouldn't give for a drink
for his canteen has run dry

He hears the rat-a-tat of gunfire
and prays silently for his friends
He hopes when they come back
they will all be there

The day turns to icy evening
and he misses the harsh light
For in the dark he cannot see
what lurks in the shadows beyond

He courageously waits for his time to end
so he can leave this horrid place
And run home to the love that is waiting
for him, safely at home

A contest entry

come home to me soon....my soldier

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    October 13, 2008

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    Awe,
    This was great!
    Nice imagery and flow..
    I could feel your loniless and your desire to want him back home with you.
    awesome write!
    -Mandi


  • QueenCiar
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, descriptions and imagery are key to making this so good. Excellent write!
    thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I like the way you have taken us out of the norm of rhyme into free verse, and right to the scene of hardship and loneliness with the soldier..He seems like a person we all know...You have cleverly engaged us beginning to end with him, and his feelings..Wonderful descriptives and vivid imagery! Good luck in the contest!


  • Symphony
    October 7, 2008
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    lovely...

    I'm not usually a fan of freeverse but you told this so well, that I could almost feel his thirst, and the terrible heat.

    When thinking of soldiers, I often forget these tedious, worrying times that they must go through - this contest is a real eye opener for me


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent!! You did such an excellent job portraying this piece!! Its truly beautiful!!! You have such amazing heartfelt writes!!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I hear you and prayers are never ending

    I feel their fear and the need for home every day .I know their are many who gets letters and some daily they wait . I so wish we all knew of those who never gets mail for its the love and the touch of paper from home that brings light to such hell . God bless every man and woman who stands on the line and may I with all my heart the way back home to find . This is an awesome write and I feel you have been there if you ever need someone to talk to dont hesitate to message me I will take all the time you need to find your way to a home you once knew . I must ask you could I please put your link to this poem on my page for all to read

1 - 6 of 6