Restraining Order Against My Heart

You turned to me and said, "let's take a ride on the carousel"
and I grabbed your hand like an eager schoolgirl with her first crush.
Creating a distraction, you told me to choose the seat on which our love would settle
while you deviously slipped money to the attendant.
Your "kind" gestures were nothing more than thirty second vacations from me.

And I tried to hang on as the ride increased in pace.
I smiled nervously at you, but your charm turned into a devilish grin.

I was in love with love,
and you weren't in love with anything.

So when the ride came to a screeching halt, I catapaulted down the embankment.
My safety belt didn't save me because I never latched it on.
I thought that's what you were for,
But you didn't catch me when I fell.

So I ran home with bruised knees and wounded naivety to mark out the hearts I'd drawn around us in my diary,
and tossed the daisies you gave me in the trash,
much like the way you had just discarded me.

People keep saying the grass is greener on the other side,
but I'm afraid I won't see that for myself,
because I can't make it to the top of the hill
before tumbling back down to rock bottom.

And I promise myself 'never again'
but every time a pair of emerald eyes gaze back at mine
those words become nothing more than good intentions
on the backseat of a plane that never took off.

I keep licking at my wounds, hoping they'll heal
but the time between accidents isn't long enough
and ends up interrupting the recovery process.

I plead from the bottom of my reckless heart
for every boy who knows the way in,
to take a number and wait outside.
I'm turning on the NO VACANCY sign
because I simply have no room left for visitors.