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Three Simple Words

Passions burn and set my soul on fire,
imagination fills me with desire.
Fantasizing thoughts torment my mind,

to love like this remains the hardest kind.

 

I close my eyes and visualise you're here,

body touching body, ever near.

Tracing gently with my fingertips,

the contours of your face, your eyes, your lips.

 

A quickening heartbeat triggers quickening breath,

I feel your body closely to me pressed.

For one small moment distant worlds collide,

and all to soon the power of love subsides.

 

Eyes still closed, I hold you for a while,

I hear your voice, and see once more your smile.

The words you whispered oh so long ago,

three simple words that kept this fire aglow.

Author notes

Fool no1

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • WantedxXxMe
    April 23

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    Great write! Love the background, those three words are can be really powerful. good luck and thanks for entering


  • Commodore Rouge
    November 29, 2008

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    Nice work. This totally reminds me of the movie Titanic, along with Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". Just the whole idea of what you're writing about and lost love and such brings that movie and its themes to life through your words, and I appreciate that. I did notice some things like
    "I close my eyes and visualise your here,"
    -I think you want "you're" instead
    I don't know if I caught anything else, though.
    Lines like "A quickening heartbeat triggers quickening breath," are very catchy, and I think that as well as a few others were my favorites. Overall, you did very well. Thanks for sharing, and thank you for entering my contest!


    • Sunshine Always
      November 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for such a lovely comment, and for pointing out the typo.....mal


  • AlittleWrong
    November 24, 2008
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    Very Good

    So good I read it twice! then called my roommate over so she could read it. Good job :-)

  • YourTruestIntention
    November 24, 2008

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    i like this- my favorite line is
    "Tracing gently with my fingertips,
    the contours of your face, your eyes, your lips."
    I do think some of it is worded a little awkwardly to try and fit your rhythm (specifically lines 3 and 4), which you strayed from toward the end, but the sense of longing is still strong


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 10, 2008

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    I felt both the warmth of the images and the sadness because the love is remembered rather than experienced in the present. It is good, though, that our hearts can be comforted (and yes, impassioned) by our memories; love can truly last forever.


  • Jesann gold member
    October 8, 2008

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    Very beautiful Mal,
    "Fantasizing thoughts torment my mind, to love like this remains the hardest kind".. very true.
    You have a most beautiful memory to cherish here.


  • nilav
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love is always refreshing and beautiful....and your poem too...


  • humblpye gold member
    October 7, 2008

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    Blown away...

    by your words, a beautiful touching poem of rememberence of the hardest kind...it's memories that keep our hearts alive Mal, thanks for sharing
    John


    • Sunshine Always
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you John for taking time to read from my page. Your comments are always encouraging my friend.....mal

  • Bad Bill
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this lovely and sensual poem, Mal, and the rhyming and flow are both excellent.

    Very well done,
    Bill

1 - 15 of 15