A fresh needle in my mouth
Four more in my hand
The anticipation building up
Like a marionette
Strings pull my limbs through unconscious motions
Shivering on the bench
Awaiting a reprieve from the melancholy
Color returns in a deluge of brilliance
Rushing forward
Overflowing me in
Pure
Undiluted
Bliss.
Author notes
White pine needles are a lovely little snack, and there are five needles per bundle.
It's not about drugs, just supposed to seem like it...
...funky chicken
In a list
A contest entry
- A Secret Place by The Green Elf.
375 points, ended November 13, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? I'm still working on this and would like to refine it much more.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i like it
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You got me. I thought you getting the drug kind of high. I'd love to try pine needles!
Enjoyed this write.
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welcome to allpoetry
Lovely flow to your thoughts. I really like lines 7-8. The entire poem is well written but those lines stand out to me, personally.
Thank you for sharing your words and talent.
Enjoy the site.
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I really enjoy the images...i think it is very vivid the way you can feel the needles inserting your mouth. You have a fabulous style of writing. I dunno though if i missed or not but i am not sure what you are writing about...i'm not sure of this is about drugs or being a puppet or being on the mountain...i would love that cleared up...maybe i am just a little slow....otherwise i loved this poem and thought it was brilliant....well done keep writing...scars.
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The poem is actually about sitting down and watching the sunrise at a place that’s very special to me, it's not actually about drugs, except for the sense that the place is like my "drug" and being away from it is like life devoid of color. I wanted to give it sort of a drug related feel to convey how much I depend on the place.
Thank you for feedback
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