His eyes were ocean blue
But he looked at her with a cold stare
She moved closer to him and he backed away
Shaking his head
"I'm so sorry baby! Please forgive me!"
He said nothing to her just continued to stare
He had caught her sleeping with his older brother
He just felt like he was going to die
"Timmmy I love you! Please talk to me!"
His blue eyes were as cold as ice
The one girl he loved had killed him inside
And then...something she hadn't expected...
He walked up to her,
Took her into his arms,
Locked her eyes with his,
And kissed her passionatly....
But then he pulled away and let go
He whispered to her
So low that she could barely hear what he said
"I loved you with everything inside of me and you broke my heart..."
His eyes
Began to water and soon streamed down tears
He turned away from her
And walked away into the crisp cool fall air
She fell to her knees
And watched her true love walk away....forever
Her big brown eyes soon began to stream with tears
All because she couldn't be faithful..
One crisp fall day
Sarah watched her true love walk away...
Author notes
ok so i didnt see any of the options that it goes with but i think it goes with the question you asked " Could you write some kind of story on lost love?" soooooo yea 
but there are others on my page if you would like to read thorugh them.... allpoetry.com/PrincessCuddleBug
A contest entry
- Vignettes by tomisb.
1750 points, ended October 7, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~_Options! Topic : Thoughts on Love_~ by City-of-Angels.
500 points, ended November 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I might forget you, but not forgive..... by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended December 16, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems/Heart Break/Wanting Love/Lost Love by gigglesalot.
900 points, ended January 12, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want depressing love poetry! by xxvampyregirlxx.
1000 points, ends December 12, 150 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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intresting and really sad at the same time. i sure hope this didnt happen that would totally suck. amazing write. thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest
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This is an interesting piece. Read like prose, but the content was great. Very sad. I appreciate you entry into my contest! Good luck!
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Not sure what happened here. Did he sincerely try to forgive her or did he just want to make her feel worse?
Intriguing write about betrayal. Forgiveness would take a long time.
jjj -
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yes he did try.... thats why he kissed her.... to try and get rid of the feeling of betrayal.... but inside he just knew he could never do it so he let her go.... this was writtin from expierence only it was my bf and my so called best friend..... so yea he tried but he really couldn't....
thank you for the comment,
~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~
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I liked this. I like that you wrote from mostly a boys point of view. Good luck in the contest!
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aw this was so nice! it flowed pretty well and altho the part about his eyes was a little repetitive i still loved it never the less. good luck in the contest!
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It was so beautifully written. It was saddening yet captivating that i wanted to keep reading more.
Good luck! -
Ahh this is a sad one. You put in very nice visuals here, I can easily picture the poem going on in my head. That's good though I can't help but tell you, the bits about the eyes and the color of the eyes get a little repetitive, maybe you could somehow change up the words? Just a suggestion if your revising it any time soon. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to share this emotional piece. Good luck
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thats so beautiful and so very sad. i know what the broken heart feels like, im going through that now. its so poetic and the flow is amazing. keep up the awesome work.
btw....i love your poetic devices.. comparing his blue eyes to the ocean and to the ice
very powerful stuff here
Mommy
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this gave me chills every line had me wanting to read more...
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This feels like ground hog day in a romance novel. Rather clever and cutting if this is true. I questioned at first if it was a vignette but the last line made it all resonate for me. Well done.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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