i met her in papa's drug store
she stuttered when she ordered her malt
i was entranced, right then, right there
but truly it wasn't her fault
she finished her malt and made to leave
i was closely in tow
she had this spark, and also my heart
her name i just had to know
she courted my family and i courted hers
two families became one
she became my world, my moon
and my sun
we held hands through the decades
through bliss, come stress or strife
she has been my centrifuge
throughout this unsteady life
the families we joined
are now all gone
the children we raised
no longer live at home
it's just me and her, again
as my sun begins to set
and ever since i prepared her malt
we share not one regret
so, we hold hands these last few seconds
as we share a kiss with eternity
i return home
a man alone
and contemplate my journey
Author notes
I'll call this the Bruize form.
A contest entry
- ...♥...How to say "I love you"...♥... by Rebekah-Ann.
800 points, ended November 11, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me A Reason by spiritraven.
700 points, ended May 19, 40 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Soulfully Beautiful
How very dear and sentimental. A keeper of a poem!
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Thank you
I appreciate your kind words... Thanks again. Oh, and I love your name, WW.
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Reminds me of my parents, still going strong after 40+ years!
Lovely poem though, it has such a sweet nostalgia to it, that I@m sure other poets like me who've never had a 'serious' relationship will yearn for one ....
Congrats on the trophy!
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Thanks
I am glad the nostalgic "feel" came across... Thanks again for your comment. It is much appreciated.
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Such a Joy
I really loved reading this. It makes you realize there are still couples out there who share this kind of love. I thank you for entering my contest and wish you the best of luck
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Thank you...
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very sad ending but at least the journey seemed fulfilling. i enjoyed reading this.
my longest relationship was 4 years about and i did not handle the end well at all because it's my fault it ended and i still think about her after 3 years.
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Thanx
Thanks for the comment, Dab... Sorry to hear of your misfortune. -
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no problem and i'll get over it.
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Amazing.
This made me feel happy, sad, nostalgic, and a host of other emotions for which I have no name. My longest relationship was only three years, and ended (quite recently) in divorce.... so it makes me really wonder about who I could share something like this with.... it really makes me think a lot. This is wonderful.
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Thank you
I really appreciate your comment
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luved reading your write.
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Thanks
Thank you for reading... There's more, enjoy!!
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Well done
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newgwash54
This one very good loved it. Hope your'e feelig better also than our first encounter -
LOVELY story to this poem! I home this is a true one!!!
Never heard about this form before but I love the poem nevertheless!
Thank you for entering my contest and take care!
Becks
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Thanks...
No, it's not true. At least not for me... Just poetic license -
Thank you...
I appreciate such kind words from such a kind soul...
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Touching write. I love it's honesty, slow pace and the open vulnerability of the language.
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Thanx..........
I am glad you liked it.
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The bruise form was great! Interesting to read about you Tom. Sad ending...thanks for sharing a good poetic story my friend.
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Thank you
Thanks for taking the time to read it, Pat.
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