Black Monday: Resurrection

They're haunting
The visions, the visions
As my hands brush over the blades of grass
She was here

The years have passed
And yet, still empty hollowness
In the chambers of my heart
My life; a black and white silent movie
With tears to blot and smear the lines

As she comes to me
In my dreams
In my memories
In all my waking hours

I toss and turn; insomnia
The light bulbs swing
I bite my nails
I can see her

She was here
She still is here
Black Monday

My fingertips disturb the soil
My eyes shift uneasily
Muscle spasms
Still here

Biting my lower lip
Tears run the lining of my eyes
Scattered, dimly lit images of her
Grainy, deteriorated photographs
Unsettling requiems
The dust stirs, the grass dies
Black Monday

I hiccup and gasp
My life, my life; where is my life?
Where is hers?

Dark clouds, black and evil
And they sprinkle the earth with her blood
Fertilizer

Shapes and forms
Purgatory and hallucinations
I sob unabashed

My veins pop, my bones buckle
The blood solidifies
Body parts, her parts
Gritting, grinding- the sounds of my teeth
Dia de los Muertos
Black Monday

The blood draws to my clenched hand
Where is my life?
Where is hers?
It is right here; in me

Hell is beating heaven to death
As the sunlight desperately tries to break through
Her heart is in my hand
Pumping, contracting, throbbing
Where is her life?
It is right here, in my hands

Sweat emanates from my skin
Draining, parching; dehydration
As my throat goes dry and my esophagus screams for mercy

For every life, a death
For every death, more death
My sacrifice, my lost religion
Black Monday

Her body fully forms
Beauty and resurrection
Her face peaceful and complacent

My love, my life
My medium
A gray area between heaven and hell
But not of this earth

She was mine
And now I am hers
Black Monday

Fire falls from God
Hell's cold breath rasps
Equilibrium
Life balances death

Her body contorts; the battle within
My skin sinks, sucked to the bones
Like the stem of a rose, the thorns sprout on my bones

I have no more tears to cry
As the last of them rust my skin
And it flakes like ashes of incineration

Unholy feelings
Damnation and stigmata
Black Monday

My eyes roll; images reap and rape
The earth rumbles, splits, and cracks
My head aches and quakes

Hemorrhage and deformity
My brain wreaks insanity
As reality smears into abstraction
And fiction plasters the sky to oil

Her body thrashes in the wake of seizures and convulsions
And the wind screeches and howls in the oncoming plague of darkness
As the hands of the shadow reach out to consume us...

Creeping
The light slowly shimmers
Peeking through tufts of cloud and fog

The light radiates
A glimmer of salvation
I feel it warming my back
And I arise and resonate in its pulsating warmth

Slowly, my jagged vision realigns
And my eyes are graced by her presence
My hands trace over her soft, silky skin
Running until it parts the flowing waves of her black hair

She draws a quick breath
And her eyes flutter open
The edges of my mouth tug into a welcoming smile
And she gracefully returns it

A moment's pause
And her body elevates till she is eye level
A reassuring tilt of her head
Ensuing to the inevitable kiss

Soft, her lips are a fairy tale
And a fairy tale none the less
For a bright flash, and her body breaks down
And proceeds to absorb into my body

Like a refreshing breeze of wind
It is cooling, relaxing
Yet it generates a zealous excitement and energy
That radiates from my core
Like no other
Before or after

Where is her life?
It is here, in me
My love, my rose
Black Monday