I can’t truly say I’m pleased,
You seem involuntarily on your knees.
Your proclamation of love should pull at my heart
Though we’re washed by moonlight, we still seem apart
Are you willing to try, but where would we start?
Author notes
As I said, it's a new style of writing, I'm trying out, be free to be as critical as you want, but hope it's alright for the contest
A contest entry
- 5 Lines Of Wonder by Errant Panther.
460 points, ended October 17, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
New style of writing, tell me what you think, be honest!
Comments
-
good use of rhyme although it does appear a little pushed rather than from free flowing thought. well expressed piece that conveys the notion of one being tentative about the motives behind an impromptu proposal.
Adding your comment:
