Aqua silk brushing golden grains,
white candy floss kisses morning blue.
Icy hands touch peach satin flesh
in Warming glance, eyes meet
burning flame rises clear mirror.
Author notes
This is the first poem I have wrote in ages, please leave honest critic please.
A contest entry
- Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 142 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The imagery you managed to stuff within these lines is truly wonderful. How I love to have the ability to actually 'see' what I'm reading.
Maybe a tad bit too much punctuation - which makes the flow of the poem a bit wobbly, but apart from that you did pretty well!
thank you for this entry!
Leander -
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Thank you for your honesty mostly appreciated, Have edited punctuation hope it reads better.
I love to fill my poems with images, the way I see them. So I am very happy that you enjoyed my poem.
Good luck with judging
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i like this poem along with the background i love the colorfull touches you have added in here with the peach flesh and the morning blue, i think it doesnt need revision.. but maybe if you wanted to add more to it IDK,
keep up the writing, ~Amy
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Beautiful
Your muse is back, this is a most touching and thought provoking poem, It reaches out and touches the heart of all lucky enough to read it, great job, Blessings with Love John
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Yes it's back finally, They applause is most warming and kind also
thank you
Stacey
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