We write with pen on paper trails
Heated lines that create a whirl {Erotic purls that senses swirl}
Slick gropes that passion never pales {Intimate touches, sexy tales}
Sick tropes that make the faint heart hurl {Adventures in love we unfurl}
To meet the needs of those who read
Sending readers ever higher {Researching our reader's desire}
Sweet sentiment becomes pure dust {Understanding what brings out lust}
Which wetness turns to darkest mire {Words combine bringing heat and fire}
The words a metaphoric thrust {Language floats, images they trust}
To meet the needs of those who read
Each word contains a measured bite {A word has power if used right}
Sometimes leisured at others terse {One style is no better or worse}
Deepest fantasy brought to light {There is no reason we should fight}
Through streams of darkest hardcore verse {The act of love is not a curse}
To meet the needs of those who read
Author notes
This is the Combined version of the Erotic Challenge - Part 2.
You can find the Erotic Challenge - Part 2 - Section 1 (Sensual) which was written by DLC-Jem at http://allpoetry.com/poem/4621599
You can find Erotic Challenge - Part 2 - Section 2 (Hardcore) which was written by Tattboy at http://allpoetry.com/poem/4657307
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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coolness and awesome
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when i first read this i didn't want to score because at first glance it did look unbalance in the number of lines required. assuming that one side hadn't finished her lines and knowing you had trouble finding her on here, i didn't take the time to look at the different links, i wanted to wait for DLC-Jem to have time to finish her part before reading the whole thing. egg on my face as i now know that you had finished it and i could have scored when i first read this instead of waiting. i'm sorry for this action on my part.
spelling/grammar=20
presentation=19
grab me=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
overall=19
total=98 -
This is an amazing entry and almost flawless, however, the one thing that I think really hurts this entry is the way it was presented. As one reads the combined entry, there is no actual way to know that there are 4 lines that are the same in both writes...
"We write with pen on paper trails"
"To meet the needs of those who read" X3
spelling/grammar/punctuation-20
presentation/creativity-18
Since each piece was to be exactly 15 lines long, as it is presented here, there is one side that appears 4 lines shorter. The only way one could tell is to read the seperate links.
how well you handled the challenge-20
"grab me" effect (how much did we enjoy reading this piece)-20
overall-19
Total-97
**Master Ktulu**
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Thanks for your grading.
It probably comes from different interpretations of reading the rules. We made sure that each individual contribution was 15 lines and that the combined piece was also 15 lines (of differing length). We felt that it would be a bit too much repetition, so went with lines of different length.
Sorry it jarred with you!
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Wow! Fantastic.
Spelling/ grammar/ punctuation: 20
Creativity/ presentation: 20
How well you handled the challenge: 20
Grab me effect: 20
Overall: 20
Total: 100 -
I went to her page and it showed that she was on earlier today. Since there was an extension for this round, I will hold off judging this entry till either you and her do connect, I will leave a message for her to get in touch with you, or Master Ktulu manages to come back and decides how we should judge your entry.
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Feel free to judge this, as I have returned and it appears to be in tact and ready for scoring
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Hi.
Have had word from Jem, both of her AP accounts were hacked!
Please go ahead and judge
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