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Season's Haiku

Soft snow is drifting
White marshmallow blankets
Winter has arrived

Hot sun is ranting
Upon Earth's scorching floor
Bathe summer glory

Crimson stars drift down
Crisply crunch under your boots
Winds sing that fall's here

Oh joy comes with spring,
hark, the little bird singing,
dew-scented flowers

Author notes

THis is a haiku on all four seasons

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • mgmc gold member
    August 25

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    I like this haiku. Not so familiar with this form but like the imagery quite a bit.
    Winter is my favorite.....and also "Crimson stars drift down." A very good poem!


  • Moosepiggy
    May 30
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    i wrote something like this a while ago (3 lines)


  • Beauty Of Silence
    November 11, 2008

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    this is amazing! i love the flow in this poem, and its so simple, and your words have a magical touch. i really enjoyed reading this poem keep penning


  • The Fun House silver member
    October 27, 2008

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    Absolutely wonderful. You have captured each season so very well with each haiku. You wrote them each very well and this was a most deserving entry for the contest.


  • Autumn Rain13
    October 20, 2008
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    Very beautiful poem about the seasons... Very descriptive, love it! keep on writing!!!!!!


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    October 6, 2008
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    These are four realy good Haiku's I tried to pick the one I kiked best but couldn't because they are all good.

    There is a Typo the first word of the last line of the fourth one. [ smeel ] should be [smell] hope you will correct it before judging.
    Thank you for your entries and good luck in the contest.
    ED.

  • jadeangyal
    October 6, 2008
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    "Crisply crunch" is great alliteration. It really brings the feel of the season. "White marshmallow blankets" is my other favorite line--and one of only two metaphors. Metaphors are what makes poetry beautiful. You could try to add some more if you wanted.


  • owlish
    October 5, 2008
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    Great! The last line, smeel should be smell. I'd do sun-kissed or dew-filled flowers instead of what you had, just something. Also, the haiku type you use changes? Some the middle line is 7 syllables, and some is 6. I'd try to keep it the same amount, but you don't have to. Good luck in the contest, I entered too. I love the description!

  • ksenia juggalette
    October 5, 2008

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    so good ur awsome at haiku i cant do them so i luv that u can! good luck in ur contest btw!

    ~ksenia

1 - 11 of 11