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"I"

I talked and painted
I wrote and drew.

I did all of this,
when I knew of
nothing Else
to do.

I tried my best
to work it out.

But I Hate myself
when I am full
of doubt.

I Kicked, and screamed,
I Begged and pleaded.

I did all of this
when Understanding
was needed.

I live alone
this much is
true.

But I lived alone
when You lived
here too!

Author notes

This is a personal experience, and I am very interested in hearing your take on it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

What did you think? What does it need?

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • songwriter
    December 4, 2008

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    short and sweet

    its short and sweet, uv summed it up very well with few words
    the only thing i feel is that what comes out in the 2nd and 3rd stanzas is that you have only yourself to blame for whatever happened
    but the ending lines indicate that the blame goes to the other person, its like you are blaming the other person now
    its just my interpretation of the whole things
    nice peice , thanks


    • gingerhall1976
      December 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Songwriter

      Hi, and thank you, for stopping by. I think you may have misinterpreted the beginning of the poem ,the 2nd stanza was explaining the 1st, and 3rd stanza was basically stating that I tried as hard as I could to cope and deal with the absence of the other person even in their presence. Basically the entire poem aside from the last two stanzas are explaining the coping mechanisms and feelings that I had in trying to deal with the last stanza. Thank you again for your comment on this piece, it is much appreciated.


  • Erica Carnea
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love the one!!
    great write
    love always
    erice
    xx


    • gingerhall1976
      October 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Erica Carnea

      Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, it is very much appreciated!


  • MotorcycleFreak silver member
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I like this one! It makes me get that falling through the clouds feeling. Very well done. ~Peace~Gar P.S. Here is another I http://allpoetry.com/poem/2300465

    • gingerhall1976
      October 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      MotorcycleFreak

      Thank you so much for stopping by and for the wonderful comment! I wasn't aware of our similar naming techniques...lol, But as I said in the review well done on yours as well. Thanks again!


  • swanridur
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice and to the point!

    this has a very nice. If I may make a suggestion though, I think in the 6th stanza it may ease the flow if you said "I did this
    when understanding
    was all I needed"
    Thank you for sharing. I can empathise, especially with the last stanza "but I lived alone when you lived here too" xx


    • gingerhall1976
      October 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Swanridur

      Hey Swanridur,

      Thank you so much for your advice! and for the compliment! It is very much appreciated.

1 - 8 of 8