Dark lenses tint the windows
concealed under eyelids
blinds drawn low
eclipsing honesty and truth
you're too deaf to hear
Forked tongue cocked and ready
to crucify unneeded sarcasm
your condescending tone
makes my mouth froth
and bitchy snipes
taking chunks of bone
and peace of mind
yet glasses stay on
out of sheer strength of will
and the knowledge that
under that makeup
and your liberal righteous morals
you're still a slut
spreading legs every night
playing Russian roulette
with men you hope shoot blanks
mind bruised and battered
in dire need of a splint
just trying to bind my body
from shoving you in that corner
you've been painting yourself in to
with blood your so lucky to see each month
yet instead I keep wearing these glasses
I guess you could call it good fashion
Author notes
Prompt-
"Good Fashion"
by Sage Francis
A contest entry
- for my favorites by stasis.
1750 points, ended November 27, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
any comment is welcome
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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woooow this poem is harsh, but it's sooo good!! i especially loved the feel of
"spreading legs every night
playing Russian roulette
with men you hope shoot blanks"
that stanza is absolutely perfect for the idea of the poem.
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Awesome. Knowing the girl attacking you deserves your pity and ignoring her, not out of spite (although that might have a little to do with it) but instead out of 'good fashion' as you so aptly put it. That's just my interpretation...not sure if that's exactly what you were thinking of, but yea.
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Well then!
I was expecting something a lot worse. I really havn't seen anything decent in the shameless box today. Except for this. It's got fantastic imagery and feeling in it.
"spreading legs every night
playing Russian roulette
with men you hope shoot blanks"
That's just stunning. Best in the contest, you deserve the gold.
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I like this.
It's harsh.
In the last line of the first stanza,
"your" should be "you're"
Best of luck!
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This is totally excellent. It's like--the imagery and metaphor you used were amazing. You said things without actually SAYING them, you know? Which made it even better of a read
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Wow
This is amazing. I like it, I'm going to see the others you have written.
Thank you for writing this piece. -
wow
this is excellent. I think you captured the feeling of the song really well, and I could almost hear the music in the background, so that was cool as hell. this really is a great piece. I can't even think of any criticisms except for the usual grammar nazi-ness of me. "your still a slut" should be "you're still a slut".
that's it really.
amazing write && thanks for entering!!
♣ Tegan
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