Let me start this story
By telling you
Just who I am
And what I do.
I am a teacher
Of, well, English
To students from far
Who eat lots of fish.
They come from Korea,
China, Taiwan, Japan,
Russia, Egypt, Serbia,
Saudi Arabia, Brazil, Thailand,
And many other places
From far and near.
They come for the language,
They come for the beer.
They don’t all eat fish –
I used it for the rhyme –
But I shall move on –
I’m pressed for time.
For I’d like to tell you
About my students,
Who live here, of course,
Without their parents.
They are all adults,
And they know how to act,
But some have no brain,
And some have no tact.
We’re learned the difference
Between “make love” and “flirt,”
When one learned her mistake –
Her blush reached her shirt.
We’ve struggled with pronouncing
Especially “beach” and “b*tch.”
You can’t say that wrong!
You might end up in a pinch!
My favorite word is “quack,*”
Which I love to make them repeat.
A classroom of ducks –
It is quite a treat!
I explained how “pleasant”
Does not mean gift.
And “devoting” when said wrong
Sounds like exiting a ship
One student said someone “rode [her]”
Instead of “gave [her] a ride;”
I laughed so hard that it hurt,
And I had to clutch my side.
I’ve had fabulous blunders
In grammar and speech.
Oh, this English language
Is marv’lous to teach.
*quack as in medical fraud - We do a chapter on medicine.
Author notes
All the anecdotes in here are completely true.
And so that you don't think I'm a mean teacher: with the "ride her"/"give her a ride" student, I told her calmly that there was a big difference between the two. She completely ignored me. I repeated myself several times, and she just kept saying "yeah, yeah, he rode me." Since this was a class of adults, I embarrassed her and told her what it meant. Only at that point, when the entire class was laughing, did I actually start laughing. (I promise, I don't laugh at my students unless they laugh at themselves first.)
A contest entry
- Rhyme Something Funny by WhiteAngelCake.
600 points, ended November 17, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
-
Haha, this is pretty funny. Nice write and best of luck in the contest. I've spent time with people from many different countries and some of the ways they coin phrases are absolutely hilarious (of course I was the same when I tried my hand in other countries.)
-
-
Thanks for your comment! I really enjoy some of the silly things they've said. Of course, you are completely right - I've said some pretty stupid stuff in other languages too! ...but that's another poem, I guess.
-
-
Interesting...
Great job. Saying things like that the wrong way is funny. Thanks for entering my contest.
-WhiteAngelCake
Adding your comment:
