The corner of Broadway
And West 34th
I wait
All these lights
So much noise
I never did get used to the city
Still I wait
It's getting dark out
Did something happen?
Why aren't you coming?
I'm scared
Yet I wait
It's night
And this accursed city
Is still awake
I check my watch
9:30
I've been waiting
But I can't hope forever
I take out
My favorite picture of you
And set it on the ground
Burning
It doesn't matter
This city is dead
I walk away
With a broken heart
And although it stopped beating
years ago
It aches
Author notes
A ghost, a vampire, a metaphor, you can interpret this many different ways. Pick your favorite.
A contest entry
- Black and White Images by silverscent.
525 points, ended October 7, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Prewrites " + Plus by wingsofgold25.
600 points, ended November 20, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by piccola.
900 points, ended December 26, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Because I'm bored and want to give away some points [NOW OPEN TO PW's] by Dovina.
750 points, ended January 3, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I won't bite you if you don't like it. BE HONEST.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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it was sad i loved it all love is very hurtful but can also be wonderful as well when you find that spesial someone you will know who it is
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how sad... waiting for someone and they never came.
it's like... i don't know, but there's something about it...
thanks for your entry! -
the ending is very effective and your use of imagery is very nice here. thank you for entering.
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Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
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very good
"......I've been waiting ...."
call the cellphone??????????????????????????
lol
seriously, it connotes the patience we all have in a city that never sleeps
we are all waiting for something
you picked the perfect location
i know the corner
so much hustle and bustle
everyone is going somewhere
and
i waited there, too
macy's, the mall, victoria's secret (is the model in the low cut bra watching you?), the park, etc
so much going on
people going to and fro, the traffic, cabs picking up and discharging, fdny ambulance sitting on the corner goofing off, a siren here and there and everywhere, long skirts, short skirts, mini skirts, doctors, lawyers, indian chiefs, etc
and i am waiting
landlocked
mentally blocked
waiting for my boat to come in
thimnking what they did to my mom is a sin
the unjust, the cold, the hartless
waiting, waiting, waiting, in a mess
not of my doing
waiting, pursuing
oopppss,, it your rhyme,
not mine
superb
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
interesting
this was interesting and had a nice punch to it.love were either broken bruised,or confused.and if that isn't one half were so smitten with th idea of being in love that we can't think straight.alowing ourselves to make mistakes.
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i like this a lot. but i'm not sure how a heart that stopped beating years ago can still ache. i know it's a metaphor and the narrator is not meant to be human, but those couple of lines don't work for me. sorry about that. i loved the rest!
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A W
The city can seem a lonely and scary place at night, esp where this person is, in a commercial area with very few people around. And those heartaches, they are interminable, and the worst company to a person in dire straits.
Good narrative though, good formatting.
I guess "jaggedness" describes this pretty well!
John-Nevada USA
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i keep thinking about traffic lights.
traffic lights.
this poem reminds me of traffic lights.
*shakes off strange trafficky thoughts*
anyways. this poem is awesome. and the ending is just perfect. i think chaos star described the poem really well with the word "jaggedness".
^_^
way to go
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I sat here wondering, waiting to find out what it is you are waiting for....
Nice write!!
Best of luck in the contest.
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Oh my god, this is beautiful. There's a jaggedness to the lines and the sentiments that leaves a raw ache in my heart. I love the way you portrayed the city, the way it never sleeps, and then you "kill" it in the end. Best of luck in the contest, if it hasn't already been judged yet!
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Thanks so much!
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