Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Rust

We thought we were stable
Unmovable, come turmoil and rain
Our ignorance breeded imbecelity
Our metal gate turned to rust
Demolished by time's patient hands

Author notes

When I think of iron, strength obviously comes to mind but also that it is so strong we think that nothing can break it, when a little time will crumble it to the ground.

A contest entry

criticm welcome.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Xadrian
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So simple, yet it speaks volumes. Thank you for your comment, here's one in reply.


  • Rhythm Child
    October 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i LOVE this one, so short and sweet, such a good poem ! x


  • etoile
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow this was a great write on the prompt. the imagery was amazing. i loved the last couple lines.
    goodjob on the shiny


  • innocence jaded.xx
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is amazinggg. I was captivated from the first line, and I love how you portrayed the prompt ! Very creative; and very well phrased. I love your use of words in this poem. It adds such beauty & power to the piece, structuring it magnificently. The only thing wrong I can see is "stabile" should be "stable"; otherwise, thank you :] This was brilliant.
    ♥Manduh


  • innocence jaded.xx
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    all right =]
    your word to be inspired by is:

    iron.

    go with it where you please :D
    ♥ 

1 - 5 of 5