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Notes Upon Ribs

I stand out,
like a misplaced note
on a musical scale.

I can kiss
my hips
with ease.

I've got a
pretty little
note upon my ribs.

Will you notice
me now that the air
passes through me?

Author notes

CONTEST ENTRY. OPTION 2 (Picture Inspiration) PICTURE: http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l289/AbusedFlower/Thinspo/d853f1c6.jpg


It's... Random and misplaced. But, nonetheless, comment. Criticize. Etc. No flames.

A contest entry

I want honesty.... Pwease?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • endless-lover silver member
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i agree all in all nice write

    vanna


  • Dead Star--x
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    short and sweet. your first stanza is very strong
    good luck and thanx for entering <3

    Dead Star--x