I drift into a land of nothingness,
looking for a better view
Time seems to race away
as I think only of you
I'm caught in a vacuum
where love is estranged
My soul feels so empty
in this realm of the deranged
Someone out there hear my plea,
cast out a lifeline to rescue me
without her I'm incomplete,
her love was so very sweet
Free me from this hell I'm in,
I beg forgiveness for my sins
Have a heart and bring her back,
I'll do anything and thats a fact
Lift this heavy burden of my soul,
intoxicate my mind til I'm consoled
Cause I can't live like this anymore,
without her life isn't worth living for
Throw out the lifeline
I'm sinking fast
Throw out the lifeline
before I fade away
Author notes
Once upon a time in a far away land
there was a beautiful maiden with
a lovely tan
She captured my heart right
from the start
I married her so we'll
never have to be apart
A contest entry
- Bright White Jackets by AutumnsFlame.
2667 points, ended January 20, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You wrote this in a flow and form that suited this piece very well...I felt every word and I think this is a very nice write!!
I drift into a land of nothingness,
looking for a better view
Time seems to race away
as I think only of you
Great job!!
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Quite honestly, I liked this. I wasn't CRAZY about it, but I thought it was pretty good. Kinda simple, but good. I think you could've put more imagery, which would give it more feeling, but I think you already put a lot of feeling into it. Thank you for entering my contest!
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Wow, such an emotionally powerful poem that grips the reader from start to finish. I could relate to the sentiment here. Good luck in the contest.
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square pants this was so sadly written you surely captured the perfect emotions for this contest that is the thing about poetry actors we have to know how to bring the drama and you did good luck
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Cute
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