I envy the Sparrow Hawk--
once my namesake--
like freedom
jealous over opportunities
and the skill it takes
to catch them.
Which would one rather have?
The chances, or the independence?
I've never enjoyed choosing,
echoed by fickle steps -
hopping along a fencepost now,
flitting up to the sky then -
and nervous trills.
So that's what I'll do now
sing away the covetous thoughts
let loose the chains
fly free.
Author notes
I know, sort of random. Title ideas?
A contest entry
- sparrow by Saffron.
900 points, ended November 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I so admire this work--I love the flow of it, and the entire third stanza was just wonderful and indeed so sparrow-like. This is wonderful.
Thank you for writing this for the contest--I so enjoyed reading this.
Saffron


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"I've never enjoyed choosing,
echoed by fickle steps - "
that is just brilliant


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"echoed by fickle steps -
hopping along a fencepost now,
flitting up to the sky then -
and nervous trills."
So birdlike, this was just a brilliantly descriptive section!
the use of the words flitting, nervous trills, fickle steps, hopping" all so vividly imaginable! Good luck in the contest kiddo
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Self-Actualization?
I don't know, I was never good at coming up with titles for anything.
I've never enjoyed choosing,
echoed by fickle steps -
hopping along a fencepost now,
flitting up to the sky then -
I really like those four lines. The whole poem flows very nicely




