Her tongue colours me
jonquil-mellow-yellow
Mouthing malapropism
that I taste
the lemon sweetness of
as she says
my small poems
are "Muriels"
Whilst I know
I cannot paint
the world's walls
Her gift
makes me feel
Sunflower tall
Freefalling
into feather-light
starbright
Twinkle
within the warmth
of her eyes
Author notes
Bless her, she meant "mural's" but her faux pas was even more endearing, the heart-smile at receiving such warm words will always stay with me.
A contest entry
- freeverse & prose [emotions attached] by xxRainbowDawnxx.
600 points, ended October 26, 2008, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is beautiful... You always give me a vision.. I can see such things or taste them... you have a stunning style.
Criss -
I llike it.
And "Muriels" is a nice word too.
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heartwarming !
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awww, she sounds like an absolute darling; easy mistake to make anyway if you're young, tired or fun loving
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Heartfelt & endearing...
Had to get the dictionary out for the 1st couple of stanzas. lol!
But the sentiment & nature of the piece is truly touching & didn't fail to touch me in its honesty & sentimentality.
Well penned, well versed, Well Done!!!
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"as she says
my small poems
are "Muriels""
Even with her "faux pas" she was right on the mark. Your poetry paints such brilliance, and this is simply one to add to that colorful collection. I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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on this Bermuda mark, there is a blessing only your pen can scratch, just like a motion in exact science, the paint is only as liquid as its runny form. granite does not define the rock alone.
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I was thinking the other day if it would work if I used "lellow" in a poem about my daughter...lol..
this is so sweeet...I like how you wrote of those instances when words are said wrong but so cute...and you can paint 'murals' - you have right here. felt it as well as see it...
lovely=)
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You do paint the world's walls with your beautiful verses.
What a sweet poem!
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What a lovely poem. You have expressed great joy at knowing the child who mistakenly said Muriels. I love this poem for obvious reasons.
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I love this. Your 'muriel' is wonderful and I feel the warmth of your heartsmile!
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This is sweet. I like the picture painted. Write on and good luck.
Dez
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