From MY deep brown eyes

Years have passed, 
          But
on this hot and sticky summer night,
it feels like it only has been seconds.

For I now look in the mirror and I see…
                        her
Miss. Shy, Miss. Ashamed
who is afraid to recognize who she is
and what she looks like.
She cries herself to sleep at night,
and puts on a great fake act with smiles and laughs.
Made herself see and believe that everything was okay.
Just goes with the flow and gets lost in ugly thoughts.

I shake my head softly and I blink again

And I see…me the real me,
trapped in a body that is not hers,
in a face that it’s not hers.
In a personality that is not hers.
A solitary tear goes down my cheek
and my lip trembles as I  hurry to embrace her.
              (But I can’t)
And I fear blinking again,
because I don’t want to lose her.
Between the sobs I try to assure her that
I’ll find a way to break her free,
to make her be known, and be loved.

There she stands grey walls
all around but still she shines.
And the chains in her wrists are
secure on tight.
Her head held up high
and stares head on.
From her deep brown eyes to mine,
she tells me that she is okay
that she is patient
and that she knows I’ll find a way.

I blink at long last, and “she”
greets me with pity sad watery eyes.
(I  have lost her)

I picture her again in my mind.
Standing tall, shinning on, and bursting
with life when everything
else is grey and dead.
And from her deep brown eyes
she told me what to do.

            From my deep brown eyes!


© Gabriela Estevez August 2006