That hour, same minute,
I dream of you in it.
Sun in your eyes,
god, that incredible smile,
the stupid way that you laugh,
and the way your hair never goes just right.
I close my heart,
to get through another day,
and hope to hope
that your dreams each night,
are filled with my eyes.
Sometimes I want to tell you,
the way you got me,
but then this torture wouldn't be as fun.
Is there a point in loving,
when you know you're the only one?
A deep sated belief,
that true love is a myth,
stops me from kissing your eyes with my lips.
I hope that you know
in your heart, as I do,
that loving you is my only truth.
A contest entry
- ~*~Be My Muse~*~ by Zane Rose.
800 points, ended January 18, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I love the imagery. It is very well written.
The first stanza:
"That hour, same minute,
I dream of you in it.
Sun in your eyes,
god, that incredible smile,
the stupid way that you laugh,
and the way your hair never goes just right."
I know it isn't, but it describes my B/F perfectly! This (and many other works in this contest) are helping me SO much. Thank you for entering.
Good job, good luck, and keep up the great writing!
~AEO~
-
hey my only thought is
on the line "that your dreams each night
are filled with my eyes."
you could put a (,) after night so it flows better and the reader know there was meant to be a pause. I thought you left out something when I read that line. The comma clears up confusion.
besides that I really enjoyed your heart felt poem
well done.
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