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~*~Remember me~*~

I may not say I love you in a thousand of words,
or say anything different that you haven't heard,
but if you'd allow me to whisper you just a few words;
know not having you in my life is my only curse.

Remember me, remember us, and what we felt,
when I first saw you, I couldn't help to wonder,
I was so nervous, oh God, how I stuttered...,
but somehow, you smiled, and I melted inside,
that's all it took, and love was born for us two...

It was our secrete rendez-vous
to meet at the park after school.
I swear, there were moments when time stood still;
when love would picnic in our hearts,
and butterflies would sail with our spirit.

I remember the very first hickey I laid upon your cheeks
how I purposely bit you so your skin would turn pink
and how you'd cover it up with make-up so no one would see
I surely remember those times, those were precious to me.

Your heart was my midnight breakfast,
so many hugs and kisses, I never knew of hunger;
you fed me love and passion until I became addicted.
Yet, we were young, and the world was cruel,
gossip here, gossip there, so we'd argue...

And now, I painfully live our lives through the lives of other folks
each time I see two people cuddle, I chuckle,
each time I think of happiness, I think of you...
how I wish life could start anew....

I may not say I love you in a thousand of words,
or say anything different that you haven't heard,
but there always comes a time,
when I miss you more than life,
it hurts so much, that I often break down and cry.




Author notes

Option 2: Write a poem telling someone just how much you miss them. Please write it for someone still with us. I think it’s important to touch someone’s heart while we still can.


You mean more than the world to me
You know who you are
So remember us darling,
remember...

Don't just walk in my shaddow.


I wrote this for a girl that I love so much but some reason
we can't be together. distances stand in between us...

Mackie


Husband


Mylee

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 53 of 53

  • Fallen-Thumper
    November 7

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    thank you for entering

    This piece is amazing and i can feel the emotion in this, i myself am missing someone but never really managed to put it into words, this piece is fantrastic and i realyl loved the read. Good luck and thanks for entering!
    -penguin-


  • hershey101
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    this is very sad heartbreaking it was beautiful it makes me wanna cry because this happened to me once wow... i enjoyed it thanks for entering good luck!

  • this is heartbreaking! but beautifully written. it flows nicely, and wow. your readers feel so much emotion from this. Wonderful write

  • nice flow of feelings and youthful love viewed from matured eyes. yearning heart is felt so closely through the development!! nice work!!!


    just a suggestion, don't be offended, but at some parts the words are misspelled. just a slip i know, but still editing could make it flawless.

  • this is so cute i loved the first stanza!!

  • its amazin

  • oh my i like totally love ur poem!!

  • i uv this so mcuh emotion i think this is gr8 i havent posted anything yet


  • dani girl
    May 22

    Edit | Reply

    <3

    i no exatly how you feal this boy and me were like that and everytime i see someone kiss or reminda me how much i love him and how much i miss him amazing write check out my poetry eh ?
    xx danxx

  • Wow what can I say this is beautiful and tears filled my eyes...Regards Hazel

  • An emotional piece of poetry that is a testament to fondly held memories of love lost and the love that still remains amidst the bittersweet refrain.

  • I enjoyed it.i do believe however,that you could've been more intense and passionate,not just something out of a romantic greeting card.how old were you when you had this first love?its sweet, but rather light.


  • FleetingImage
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    This poem was so emotional so tear felt it actually made me cry cuz that's exactly how my love is turning out...distance (and age) separates us, so so sad...GL

  • nice loved it!


  • Tiffany Turner
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    wow i see the pain and feel it so much more...it might help that i am in the situation but this is an amazing poem...keep up the good work...and good luck with my contest thank you for entering


  • Walk-Free
    December 13, 2008
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    "when love would picnic in our hearts,
    and butterflies would sail with our spirit."

    so depressing.

    you described the transition, from puppy love to maturity taking over in the form of arguements, really well with these little events that happened.

    thanks for this heartbreaking write. you did a great job


  • Rose Angel gold member
    December 11, 2008

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    I know dear M....how you do love her...and you have expressed it well...Keep penning dear friend!

  • YourTruestIntention
    November 26, 2008

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    this is so cute.. i can tell how much you feel for this person and i'm sorry you can't be with her... my favorite line is "you fed me love and passion until I became addicted."


  • SilverButterfly gold member
    November 9, 2008

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    I think everyone has a love in their past like yours. I awalys told myself, when it is more painful to remember, than forget, then move on, better times are on their way!
    best wishes in the contest!

    GBY
    SilverButterfly
    Mary


  • trueasagrayrose
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. that is a fantastic write. it can be related to very well.
    my fave part:
    "but there always comes a time,
    when I miss you more than life,
    it hurts so much, that I often break down and cry."


  • Susan John Francis
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sadely but true ,
    Love can create magic ,
    In any way wishful or blues,
    BEst write of the day.. Lovely my friend its simply magical....
    Love Susan
    "And now, I painfully live our lives through the lives of other folks
    each time I see two people cuddle, I chuckle,
    each time I think of happiness, I think of you...
    how I wish life could start anew...."
    My Fav lines .... Time just so passes by without a word ...


  • nilav
    November 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a sumptuous meal of love...adding spice of love with every word....


  • emc2
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem. Such an amazing job was done here with this piece. This is exactly what I was looking for through this contest. Wow! Amazing job. I love the details, the imagery, the emotions! Such an amazing piece. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • Dragonbabyx3
    November 4, 2008
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    This is a very sweet and touching poem. But you didnt put what you wanted to be in my ap family


  • fluffatron69
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A strongly written poem that conveyed the ideas really well! My fave lines were definately: -
    "each time I think of happiness, I think of you...
    how I wish life could start anew...."
    They made a shiver crawl down my spine, as I have often wished for a new chance at the woman I love... Great poetry, and good luck in the contest!


  • Mary Jane.
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. i really really like this. it made me cry. i've definately been there. but some how i feel this wil make our love will be stronger because we are still so passionate from such a distance. thnks for entering and good luck.
    Sarah

  • celadia
    October 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem, it is well done but I do have a problem with the part 'a thousand of words' wouldn't it be better to have 'thousands of words'? This poem made me feel that I knew the person you loved and that I was part of the scene.
    It goes from the heights of happiness to the depths of misery, I find the change unique, I thank you for entering my contest.


  • catalyst.
    October 21, 2008

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    This is so emotional. Everyline seeps with your pain and longing. You should have one many more trophies for this


  • ms-cuddles
    October 19, 2008

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    Sweet

    This is so sweet. It takes me back to high school. You've penned quite a few lines that ohh and ahh'ed me. Wishing you all the best with your love. Thank you for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles


  • petalblue2
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a genuine write. I love it! This poem shows true feelings of love "Your heart was my midnight breakfast,
    so many hugs and kisses, I never knew of hunger" I love this part especially, very creative. It is wonderful how you give so many examples of why you loved her and not just have a whole bunch of lacy language.
    Beautifully penned!


  • Painted Nails
    October 18, 2008
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    Great poem! Its very sad and emotional. Beautiful job! Thanks for entering!
    Sydney


  • sensualbutterfly
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sweet sad piece yet so beautiful! Love just seeps through these words! Thank you for entering


  • Manoj Sanyal
    October 14, 2008
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    nice poem ... emotion filled and in simple language.
    Good luck,


  • Aurielle
    October 12, 2008

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    This poem was cute but that part

    "I remember the very first hickey I layed upon your cheeks
    how I purposely bit you so your skin would turn pink
    and how you'd cover it up with make-up so no one would see
    I surely remember those times, those were precious to me."

    This wasn't about me because you never gave me a hickey before. lol but this was still cute


  • Evanescence
    October 11, 2008
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    This is amazing, very cute, well written, my favorite I've read today =]


  • QueenCiar
    October 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Super cute write. I can relate it to my boy :]
    thank you so much for entering this! Good luck!! ^_^


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Very poignant...

    Life and love are sometimes hard to bear. Thank you for sharing this beautifully written, yet heart-breaking poem with us. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest... Take care, Cyn


  • junior imps
    October 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem. It makes me think of someone I use to be in love with. thank yo


  • Hikari Lady
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, loved how you repreated the first stanza in the end with chainging some lines. I loved this line o much:
    "when I miss you more than life,"
    and:
    "I swear, there were moments when time stood still;
    when love would picnic in our hearts,"

    Simply beautiful, so much longing and missing, hoping and love. Very good luck in the contest!

    ~Noor


  • Anu-Nataraj
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOWOWOWOW!!!!...i loved it
    it sounds lyrical...i think u shud write it into a song???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    wat do u say????

    much love,
    Anagha-Nataraj


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 10, 2008
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    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. You've expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.

  • Eusebius
    October 9, 2008

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    Most certainly most heartfelt and poignant piece here! You also manage to create a bleakness in the poem which was not easy to do which went well with the details of the poem... deftly done throughout... bravo


  • TransparentOpacity
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SPLENDID

    well this is what I call a poem which comes straight from heart .... a very touching write I mus say ....

    I may not say I love you in a thousand of words,
    or say anything different that you haven't heard,

    A good start for a very powerful write ....I could well relate myself to this ....

    I may not say I love you in a thousand of words,
    or say anything different that you haven't heard,
    but there always comes a time,
    when I miss you more than life,
    it hurts so much, that I often break down and cry.


    The last stanza is very well penned .... how much I loved it I cannot explain .... the flow is very natural ... overall a very good poem ...!!!


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. You've expressed yourself quite well, indeed. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • z etoile
    October 9, 2008

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    YOu write souch outstanding poetry Mack! Wow this is incredibly awesome! Keep writing. I love to read you poetry!


  • Rashida
    October 8, 2008
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    This is full of beautiful memories, and is a little bit sad since they seem to be lost. Just a few typos/errors though..

    It was our secrete rendez vous - secret, rendez-vous

    I remember the very first hicky I layed upon your cheeks - hickey

    and how you'd cover it up with makeups so no one would see - make-up


  • Susan John Francis
    October 8, 2008
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    Lovely olden school days....... a nice write brings the memories closer ... Thanks for sharing..


  • Death by Murder
    October 7, 2008

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    That was really, really beautiful. You get a real sense of the happiness and wholeness you felt with them, and then the absolute grief and reminiscing afterwards.

    The only thing that bothered me a bit was this line: "when I first saw you, boo, I couldn't help to wonder"
    The poem has a very serious tone throughout, but the 'boo' just... I don't know, almost offsets the seriousness of it. Personally I would revise it.

    Other than that, great job.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 7, 2008

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    Beautiful beautiful indeed

    Youhave penned this so very well so heart felt and loving like a whisper of love upon a gentle breeze

  • emc2
    October 7, 2008

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    Wow! Excellent job with the details. You can tell you really miss this person whom you loved. I love the way you incorporated your feelings when you see two people happy and in love and how it makes you feel the pain of your beloved to be gone. I too have felt these feelings when my boyfriend broke up with me. I wrote poems similar to these. I remember all these feelings all too well. You did a wonderful, amazing job.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 7, 2008

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    It is clear how much you miss this beloved. I especially like how you say the sight of others in love brings a special pain to your heart. I've felt this, sometimes, too, but you've expressed it very well. Also liked your internal rhymes.


  • Jul3s
    October 7, 2008
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    Love as curse = Great image !!
    it gives the clue to the rest of the poem !!


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 7, 2008

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    wow a very deep write!! I know u put a lot of thought into this you did an amzing job!! This is very very well written!! Excellent details and description!! This is incredible!! Such a perfect piece!!

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