Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Beloved

Beloved, come with me and hold my hand,
Let us soar high above the velvet, blue sky,
As we cross from the coast to nature's land,
Set our spirits free, let them go afar and fly.

Let us soar high above the velvet, blue sky,
Whilst thoughts drift away in a daydream,
Set our spirits free, let them go afar and fly,
Flow all the way through the calm stream.

Whilst thoughts drift away in a daydream,
Let the gentle winds wash away our fears,
Flow all the way through the calm stream,
Tenderly as we kiss away those pearly tears.

Let the gentle winds wash away our fears,
As we cross from the coast to nature's land,
Tenderly as we kiss away those pearly tears,
Beloved, come with me and hold my hand.




summer51



Author notes

A Contest entry:
Option 1: Titles-Self explanatory
"Dearly Beloved"

This is my very first PANTUN (PANTOUM).

English PANTOUM (pronounced as pan toom) is a form of verse in which the second and fourth lines of each four-line verse are repeated as the first and third lines of the following verse.

My friend Lee (ltw222) was the one who introduced me to this kind of poetry.

To my friend Lee, Thank you.



summer51

In a list

A contest entry

Where art thou, Beloved?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Rovingone gold member
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the simple directness and warm way this poem delivers it's message. You write with such a delightfully simple style, like enjoying freshly baked cookies. You just want another.


    • Summer52
      November 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you very much

      Because I believe that simplicity is beauty.

      Thanks, again, Rovingone for the nice comment.


      summer51


  • HaileeDear
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, the way you wrote this is very unique. i like it a lot.

    i also think the way you took to the title was very interesting
    thanks so much for entering<3


    • Summer52
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Hello, hailee

      Thanks for the nice comment. I like "experimenting" the different types of poetry. I do enjoy writing and "hiding" them in my Love Notes Diary... a kinda collection...

      Well appreciated.


      summer51


  • sense surreal
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    maybe I'm kind of cheeky too lol

    Wow Mommy you're trying forms. I wish I could write in forms. I can't even write a decent haiku. This form is new to me.

    Bat parang ang dali-dali nyo lang ginawa?


    • Summer52
      October 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      sense surreal

      Then I'll call you, Cheeky Lee2.

      Well, it's not easy, Ann... for 24 hours?
      You just repeat the lines and compose 6 new, then rhyme them. Just "trial and error" method I used (Accounting term).

      Thank you, again.


      summer51


      • sense surreal
        October 16, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        24 hours

        quite tricky eh

        Cheeky Lee2, reminds me of someone who also calls me cheeky hehe


        Anna Lee


  • Lee Tai Wah
    October 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Hi summer

    This is pantun?? I think it is pantoum. Definitely not the pantuns that I am used to.


    • Summer52
      October 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Ni hao wo pengyou, Lee!
      Ni hao ma?

      This is not PANTUN? Oh, sorry...
      Oh, I get it... Yeah...your kind of PANTUN...

      Hsieh hsieh.


      summer51


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Kudos to adventurous, romantic summer.
    Another winner in romanceland!
    Mumsy


    • Summer52
      October 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Good evening here Mumsy...just about to off here and beauty sleep. YES, I already told kismoony that I will try this weekend to start my interpretation on the PP of Blue Rew. Busy-busy at work eh. Still tired when I get home.

      Thanks, Mumsy! love yah...

      summer51


  • moon2u
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you are doing a marvelous job with all the poetry forms you have tried
    You have no fear to try new things and that is half the battle Summer
    so bravo little dynamo
    I am proud of you
    hugs Moony


    • Summer52
      October 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Good evening here, dear kismoony. It's still far...the deadline... maybe this Saturday...I will try or start my interpretation on that PP posted by Blue Rew.

      Now.. please excuse me cuz I have to reply to my "kababayan"(countryman) here. the young poet...Ms. Anna Lee (Just hoping she's not "cheeky" too, eh? Or are they related? Will ask her.... Hahaha!

      Thanks, kismoony.

      summer51


    • Summer52
      October 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the nice comment, dear kismoony.

      I'd like to join in to the invite contest for the tribute for you...will try to regain my tired brain...and will see what I'd come up with...

      Thanks, again.


      summer51


      • moon2u
        October 7, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        well I would like that summer
        but not if you feel pressured at all
        only if it is fun
        hugs Moony


        • Summer52
          October 8, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Good evening here, dear kismoony. It's still far...the deadline... maybe this Saturday...I will try or start my interpretation on that PP posted by Blue Rew.

          Now.. please excuse me cuz I have to reply to my "kababayan" (countryman) here. the young poet...Ms. Anna Lee (Just hoping she's not "cheeky" too, eh? Or are they related? Hahaha!

          summer51

1 - 16 of 16