But where will it go?
Does this path lead to the life I've always wanted
Packed dirt under my feet,
The road of silence.
I look up and see nature's skyscrapers looming over me.
Trees so big, that they must contain forest spirits.
Come out come out wherever you are!
No answer.
Squeezing my jacket against my body I keep walking.
But why am I still walking?
White bright sky.
A snow globe of emptiness and confusion.
Crinkly orange ribbon crawls across the woodland floor
creeping over the mossy green grass.
Every where I look
I see orange green brown tie dye.
What will the end of the road bring
Will I be sent home, to my real home
Will I be met with love and a sorrow-less life
Who will take care of me in this world of no regrets?
A world of innocence.
A world of serenity.
A world for me.
But where will it go from there?
Author notes
Option 2:
Get inspired by the following picture:
Where does this road lead you to.. What is at the end of the road??
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this is a very very lovely, poem
I really enjoyed your take on the prompt you choose!
it had a very somber feel to it
good luck in the contest
~
~
~ Kitty xxx -
Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
You’re asking a lot of questions.
Sometimes one line doesn’t seem related to the line before it.
… 
Still I can see the picture and I know what you mean. I like that in a poem. Best of luck with your stay here at AllPoetry. Enjoy.
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hey, so i am a new member and just thought i would say i havent seen too many poems, like at all, but this is very good and so far thebest i have read. but i mean, haha, i have read less than 50 oems, and i am sure there r more magical works to find and get inspiration from. but i just thought u should know, u r the first i have read that i have commented on. :]] good job, and the best of luck to u.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello falling.hearts,
I loved the line:
"I look up and see, natture's skyscrapers looming over me"
In the line: "Trees so big, that they must contain forest spirits in them" I think that line would work must better if you took out the words "in them".
I think that you did a very good job and the basic idea of this poem is well thought out. I think that some editing would increase the readablitly of this poem. Some of the lines felt broken or incomplete.
ex: "Will I be met with love and sorrow-less life"
This line feels like it is missing something. maybe "and a sorrow less life"
Bravo poet,
Criss -
Welcome to All Poetry
This seems to be a popular option this time around
I really enjoyed this one, the feelings that this brings to the reader is great.
I do think I would break this up into verses, as it would make the flow better, and help the reader know your full meaning.
Best of luck in this contest!
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Wow I like the image of the trees being natures skyscapers wonderful use of imagery runs through this piece as well.
"V" -
Welcome to AllPoetry
This seems to be a popular option. Many people have gtten inspired by it and it is a beautiful picture. Welcome to the site and good luck in the ontest. This site is a good place to grow as a poet. -
Welcome to AllPoetry
This is a very nice piece. I did however find that the colour combo's that you have used (I'm assuming that it is for the fall colours) kind of takes away from the poem because the words are hard to read. Best of luck in the contest. -
Welcome to Allpoetry
You ask all the questions that we are just to impatient to have the answers to. It's tough to not know what lies ahead, and if we will have to do it alone or not. Wonderful take on the prompt.
♥
whisper
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
Indeed, this is a lovely piece. You've done a great job in describing the picture, and even the background fit perfectly with the feeling in your poem.
This line in particular stuck out, and I love it:
"Crinkly orange ribbon crawls across the woodland floor."
The imagery there is astounding! My only suggestion would be to cut down on the filler-words, in order to maximize your poem's full effect.
Welcome aboard, and best of luck in the contest!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I really enjoyed the musing kind of feel to this poem the one suggestion that I would make is to use a little more punctuation to direct the reader to the same pauses that you would naturally take - but that is just my preference I really loved the 'come out come out' part of this poem - it was crafted very well - I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi falling.hearts
A poem i can relate with very much, you've expressed your thoughts and emotions really well. Keep writing and goodluck in the contest
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I wonder
How many times have I felt this way. Dreaming ,while awake, about that peace and beauty I just cannot seem to have. Poet write on.
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welcome to allpoetry
You do have some lovely lines here, from the heart. It was nice to read how the picture inspired you. Excellent job.
Thank you for entering the contest. Best of luck to you.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
This is good, written like thoughts from deep within. I can see how this is viewed in the picture and fits it nicely. Nice job.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
To your world.. and From there.. it might probbaly remain there and come to a standtsill.. how nice it would be then.. ?? Very well written.. like ur gentle yearnings of serenity which is painted here. Good effort..
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welcome to all poetry
Hi falling.hearts
I think you did a great job on this poem matching the picture very well thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Nicely written overall, with more than just a detail of the painting. Something to 'think about'.
*Suggestions*
This could use a little more economizing. Trimming it down to the more significant questions will be easier
on the readers eye and not dilute the subject.
~~ Also, when using a poem with questions, it is not
necessary to repeat question marks as they will have
a tendency to 'cartoon' the form. I would put them at the end of every 3 questions if not even one time.
A little tweaking would make this one stand out.
Let us know if/when you should edit so we can give it
another lookie.
Thank you for entering!
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I like some of your descriptions such as: "nature's skyscrapers" and "Crinkly orange ribbon crawls across the woodland floor"
Do you often like to write about nature?
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Thanks a lot! I've written several nature poems, most about autumn. Only one other is on here. You might like it! You should check out my poem Cold.
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