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From Under The Shadow Of Obscurity

Destiny? Shine thy light upon my path! So may not I drift in darkness forever searching.
Cast upon my soul a glimmer, be it moment-esque! Thou hovers in confinement, briliant c'est la mascarade.
Mock a sailors beacon, whom's glow helps to map the sea. A shimmering seed of destination! An end amidst the means.
Life unlit? But a poor man's plight to exist in mediocrity. Destiny? I beg of thee! Bid adieu to your evasiveness.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • hanhan1026
    October 5, 2008
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    =)

    very interesting topic. nice use of words.


  • Shadow Stalker
    October 5, 2008

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    Interesting

    I dont think I have ever read something such as this but its good. It reminds me of something you might find in a high school text book with the word choice you have chosen. But its good. Thanks for sharing.

    ~*~Night Mistress 1~*~

  • AnAverageGirl
    October 5, 2008

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    not bad

    "So may not I drift in darkness forever searching" is hard to read the wording seems off, other than that it isnt bad.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 5, 2008

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    "In Progress" work

    Despite some grammatical errors (whoms, line 5) or perhaps typos (the! instead of thee!, line 7) this poem clearly calls out for a guiding light, for some personal recognition and/or direction. I particularly like "an end amidst the means". Great line! Since it appears to be written to the god Destiny, perhaps the prayer-like language (Thy, thou) is appropriate. I hope you keep writing! (But use Spell and Grammar Check)


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    October 5, 2008

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    Great job. I dont see much poetry like this on the AP site. It seems to be a blend of styles both old and new. I enjoyed it very much.

    Mike

1 - 5 of 5