Nobody should have to endure the stares...
A child should not be sliced by words...
Spitting and cursing just under their breath...
Notes and carvings left on notebooks and lockers...
Every faceless voice tearing out her insides...
Tear stained, purple pillows suffocate her piercing cries...
Wraping arms around her knees, rocking back and forth...
Too afraid to let them know they're hurting her...
She sits furthest to the class room door...
When the final bell sounds,
She runs "home"...
And for the nineth time that month,
She runs into her room,
Away from her parent's questioning eyes...
Twelve years old, and already torn between all of this confusion...
Something must be wrong with her...
Why does she look....why does she wonder...
Thirteen now,
She keeps her mouth shut...
The words may have gone away,
But she feels just the same...
New school,
New "friends"...
They're like her...they feel it too...
They called it, "Gay"...or...was it "Lesbian"?
She can't find the word for both...
Her "friends" provide it...
- Bisexual -
Was that so bad...?
Her mother seems to think so...
Her father says it's a phase...
Fourteen now,
She lets them cling to what they want to believe...
Stronger feelings now,
Her mind swims with that girl's scent and name...
Fifteen now,
Holding her and laughing ...
Kissing and embracing...
Dizzy from a first love...
Learning to dodge the bullets...
Everyone thinks it's a game...
But she fell for her so quickly...
Secret kisses,
Stolen in the back seat...
Departing hugs,
She holds onto her and cries goodbye...
Parents tore two "minors" apart...
Wringing them out for every tear...every whimper that dispersed...
She cried hard and long...slowly becoming numb..
Sixteen now,
With no number to find that red haired girl she loved so much..
She's on her own from now on,
Alwasy wondering,
But it's hard to want what cannot be...
Author notes
18 now,
a not so pleasent memory...
A contest entry
- gay/ lesbian by birch.
300 points, ended October 27, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
say what you will
Comments
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very nicely done with walking us through the years. i really felt the personal investment in this.
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You have placed this honest and heart-breaking tale in such words that I am left feeling this pain for you. The format, the way you sewed this together makes it so overwhelming and creates such a strong impact. I am amazed at your capability to produce such an effect.
I loved every part of it. A very sad story depicting the ignorance of others and what some people have to go through in order to get accepted or to find what they want and who they are. I think this has got to be the best poem on the subject.
'With no number to find that red haired girl she loved so much.'
That broke my heart. You have manged to do this in a few lines. And yet, looking back up to the memories, the kisses and the dizzying love, I feel my heart warmed to the possibility, that while this is but a memory, you have many years to go to find love. I sincerely hope you will find this again. And you will. You have to if you can pen it so well. :]
The bests of lucks my dear! ♥
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Wow, that was so sad. I loved the form you used to write this in, with the passing of ages to declare that true feelings don't disapear. It's such a shame that people don't understand those kind of feelings, especially parents, which is probably alot worse. I guess I should consider myself lucky...
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Kermie4201 -
Thanks again!
I'm so glad someone finally read this and said something.
8 people have "seen" this piece, but it's so sad that once you slap on a lable as to who's straight and who's not, I rarely get these kinds of uplifting comments.
So thanks again!
ps) your last sentence could mean a number of things, might I ask why you consider yourself lucky?
~*SL*~
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