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In The Beginning

Missing image

In The Beginning

The well of desire was finally at hand,
I paused to admire its crystalline glow.
A motionless pool as still as the sand;
I felt such a fool as I reached in below.
The water said: “Here, I’m at your command;
you have nothing to fear, drop quiver and bow”.
I said in alarm: “I’m a warrior elf,
I cannot disarm, I’m protecting myself”.

He replied with a voice so soft and pure:
“You have a choice, a decision to make;
you may continue alone and unsure
or you can be true with riches to take”.
“Riches”? I said: “I would give to the poor.”
He told me instead: “that is a mistake”.
“Hear what I say for I’m ancient and wise,
don’t give it away, we can compromise”.

“We can compromise?" I said with a start.
“Now open your eyes”, replied the old well:
“The poor will be thrilled and all take their part
with an empire to build and crops to sell.”
“So take these treasures before you depart,
it’s best to give pleasures that open the heart.”
So I put my bow down and considered his plan,
I took up the crown and the kingdom began.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Option 1: warrior/elf
Image found on web and altered.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Treasure 5 gold member
    April 20

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    You have a pretty good wright here, thank you for entering my contest. Wonderfully written and your on the final list. It was a pleasure to read.


  • Demington
    October 5, 2008

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    The picture was great, the rhyme mixed well with the narrative, and you were ambiguous with the details...not vague. I think that pretty well sums up a very good poem.

    The conversation was very interesting and raises some philosophical issues that would set some of fellows here on campus into a fit of ranting...whether they agree or not.

    This was quite the interesting entry. Very nice.

    Blessings,

    C


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 5, 2008

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    You always write fantasy and fairytales so brilliantly!! I hope he did set up that kingdom and all lived happy ever after

    Fabulous!


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 5, 2008

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    you are such a talented little elf
    i love reading you on Sunday mornings

    Lane xxoo


  • k.a.s.s.i.e
    October 4, 2008

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    i like it (of course). but the whole thing with the elf and the well is pretty cool. and i like the picture too, but that's beside the point. i also admire the structure of it, it's so unique.

    ~kassie


  • malmadre gold member
    October 4, 2008

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    There is much that could be said about the theme, I love the idea of laying down the weapons and taking up the crown in peace. The story flows so easily and the dialogue is so natural. I love the double rhyme!


  • HaleyMary
    October 4, 2008

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    Beautiful write, Amera. You are so talented. I liked the second stanza in part of the water replying. It seemed metaphorical, like water itself being purified, as though filtered. Hope that made sense. Anyway, wonderful write. Best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Faeryn
    October 4, 2008

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    I just loooove your elven fantasy poems. They are so wonderful and filled with fantastic imagery; such wonderful stories you tell through your poems. Love the last stanza...actually, the entire poem is amazing just like the Elven Queen who wrote it.
    Love,
    Tay


  • Tirrell
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Now I can add These!


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you write!! This is so great sis!! You did a fantastic job portraying this write!! I love the details and descriptions!!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 4, 2008

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    You make this feel like being on the brink of a great adventure - like role-playing games. Hmmm. Elven bunnies.

  • Tirrell
    October 4, 2008

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    I love the story, and have been lost in the tempo, meter and imagery. I love the idea of the well, and the chacterizations were supurb, hope this will continue. It is a beautiful fantasy poem


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    In Ottava Rima you tell us the tale
    Of the Kingdom of elves and how it began
    When you are the writer no story is stale
    At fantasy telling I say "You Da Man!"
    In contests like this I doubt you can fail
    And writing like this continues that plan
    Amera the poet this poem should win
    I wait for the rest of the tale to begin




1 - 13 of 13