Slender, silver almond trees
Outlined against the sky;
Graceful arms out-reaching,
Laden with blossoms shy.
Bright blue sky grows restless,
Wind-tossed clouds roll in,
Branches sway and flowers bend;
March is out for a spin.
Now the raindrops falling;
Now the sunshine glistens
Crystal droplets dangling
Gently springtime christens.
Myriad colors burst out
In tender blades of wheat,
In blushing blossoms as
Earth and rainbow meet.
Slender, silver almond trees
Adorned with petaled crowns
Spring ushers new life in,
Joy replacing winter frowns.
Author notes
Written for Long Patrol's contest "Seasons" and in memory of my favorite season in the place in which I grew up. <3
A contest entry
- Seasons Contest (for those that have not yet won gold) by LongPatrol.
525 points, ended October 11, 2008, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How is it??? Honesty, please.
Comments
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I think this well deserved the gold. Well done with this. I'm not really a rhyme reader but I really enjoyed this, it's people who write little rhymes as well as you do that make me (almost) change my mind about my preferances...
I think the imagery you portayed here was beautiful too. I think had it been my contest, you probably would have got gold too.
Well done. Keep it up!
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Yep, I can see why this won gold. It's a popular claim but it fits here: The imagery makes this poem what it is. The ability to see Spring unfold as we read.
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Thank you for the comments, and for the applause! They are both much appreciated. And I'm happy you could see Spring unfold as you read the poem.
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splendid
this poem creates a vivid word picture and does it very well. I like it just as it is. Nice job author poet bookgirl. -
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Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Your picture is very entertaining, by the way.
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this is very good! I love poems that present nothing but image with words, and the image presented is simple yet very affective in conveying the neverending seasonal march. I liked the poem very much, and hope that you get many more gold trophies : ) good job and good luck in the future.
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Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the kind wishes.
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Hadn't seen this one
I love the slender, silver almond trees ... don't you wish you could say "almond tree" in one word like in Spanish?
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Yes, that would be nice but I didn't dare put "almendro" because I didn't think anyone would understand. Don't you miss those beautiful pink and white trees?
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Congrats on the gold, definitely deserved! :-) I loved this piece. Such a beautiful capture of nature, wonderful imagery. Nice write. Blessings!
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Thank you very much! Delighted that you liked it.
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This makes me want to go out and find some almond trees to look at! Really well-done poem, bringing in other lovely things as well, but then returning to the almond trees in the last stanza--a device I like, but which doesn't work for me very often. Congratulations on the gold!
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Me too! I miss the beautiful almond trees.... Thank you so very much for the lovely review!
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Fantastic
Such vivid imagery. Very good word choice, and great form.
Keep your pen handy, I will be back.
Joe
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Thank you! I'm pleased you thought it had vivid imagery. I wanted the reader to see the picture I had in my mind as I wrote....
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masterful
Great poem....I hope you win
I'm new to this so I'm trying to learn from more experienced poets. Keep writing and I'll keep reading and maybe you can teach me a thing or two.
Have a good one......Erin -
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Thanks... glad you liked it.
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Such a picture-esque scene captured in your words.
The vivid blooming of spring as winter melts away...reminds me that im missing summer already.
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Glad you liked it! Thanks for the comment.
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Nice! Full of emotion and power.
-LongPatrol -
How is it? Honesty? Sure, I'll be honest when I say this. It's a 5 star poem! (out of five, of course)
I really like how you didn't come right out and tell me what season it is, even in the title. Spring, right? The part in line 12 that says springtime led me to it. But I didn't realize that word at first.
Love the metephores. My favorite part is the last paragraph.
The rhyme pattern and stanza order was perfect. Love it!
Nice. Keep writing.
-LongPatrol
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Thank you! Such a kind review!
Yes it's spring - March. Where I grew up March was very blustery and it was also when the almond trees would be "bursting into bloom," to use a cliche phrase. This poem is how I remember March, growing up.
I'm very pleased that you like it since it was especially for you. Thanks for the very lovely review!
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aaaah, I love this little piece, especially how you brought it full circle with the use of the silver almond tree. Great write!! Good luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much!! I'm delighted... especially since I was wondering about the almond tree in the last stanza. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
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