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Perishing

Missing image

Souls embossed with need
clinging as hope peels,
demonic omens watching
soon all will be revealed.

Hell caught the scent
lingering deep within,
desperation screaming
through superficial skin.

A spirit lost and lonely
cracks in the rift,
a vortex of disaster
hemmed in a little gift.

Festering intensely
bleeding rank decay,
septic sewage seeps
growing everyday.

Ulcerated silence
suddenly explodes,
swift degeneration
is ultimately bestowed.

Lungs laced with leather
girdled air contorts,
compressed cells struggle
eyes flash distraught.

Shadows grow thick
time starts to bend,
fading into focus
senses comprehend.

Slipknot tightens
death takes control,
cries are growing louder now,
hell wants your soul.

Author notes

Picture prompt.
Picture credit: http://asaenath.deviantart.com/art/Broken-99494958

Well it says what I want it to, you think it can't get worse and it does

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • PastelMoons gold member
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful emotion and wicked imagery
    makes this piece --sinfully delicious
    You left me in awe with this one
    Great write hun!
    I love it!!!!
    ~Pastel


  • Nienna Calmcacil
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ...mmmk I'm going to fave you. Right now. I'm speechless.


  • Leonura
    October 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oi, this is such a raw and intense poem. such darkness. truly talented to bring such a shiver to the readers body.


  • Sandygram
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent Poem

    You have penned some powerful imagery within your words. It draws the reader in from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing. Take care.

    Sandy


  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!! Kinda leapt off the page at me...

    Love it!!!
    Kinda set the tone for my dreamstates tonight... lol!
    Your muse has gone from visiting to lodging by the looks of...
    Had me captivated throughout in its intensity...
    Well done!!!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow that was was raw and blunt, ouch that hurt.
    Awesome dark and what an image to write for
    Best wishes in the contest
    Julie

  • angel20girl
    October 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very deep. Its a great poem. Your picture is also nice. It shows the hopelessness of the poem.


  • Amera gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful read! You combined the art of the "ahhh.. factor" of Free Verse with a wonderful rhyme to add depth. I love a dark write that focuses on emotion.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Damn!! I felt like that had it's grip on me and squeezed me!! You really captured such a feeling of struggle in this! Held my breath reading it!

    Fantastic write hun. Dark and sad, but brilliantly written!!



  • Disturbed Prodigy
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think you mind should be studied, it kep producing amazing poems, i would be happy to do the operation for you, i will return it i promise. again amazing poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • notorious
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Telleth me when it's done


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://asaenath.deviantart.com/art/Broken-99494958

    here is the link to your prompt. let me know if it doesn't work for you.. I'll find you another one.

    kat

1 - 14 of 14