A bastard in this living hell,
reared by death itself
Gwenadear the merciless,
proclaimed slaughterer of Elves
In the keep of Lucifer,
at the behest of evil deeds
To hunt them down and crucify,
to suit her grand Messiah’s needs
A distant world far deep within,
clandestine to your eyes
Bearing the brunt of murderous deeds,
her army to cannibalize
The war does rage yet forty years,
from whence her ravage began
Her wretched heart upon her sleeve,
her bustle made of hands
Roaming free to gut the land,
to bleed red the sands of life
Thriving on the wept laments,
their pain from inner strife
To bear the boy, to burn within,
and set his blood to flame
To hang the rot of all his flesh,
and heed to him the blame
Cold embrace of lifeless bones,
do bring her loves desires
The horror buried deep inside,
will stoke the demons fires
The play of string; a screeching cry,
to pluck their lives away
Her bow is oiled by hopes of Elves,
that drip with their dismay
Hunting down pure decency,
to scorch their future fold
Atrocities the size of God ,
left there to behold
She marches on to annihilate,
their existence and their hope
They swing the neck and tear the life,
desires swing by a rope
A smattering still do remain,
buried deep in icy stone
Buy their chains she drags in death,
she does not come alone
Ode to Satan sung each day,
by the armies of carnage that feed
The wicked she plays to fit the time,
as her violin does bleed
With pure butchery she hangs the skull,
to show her masters pride
She’ll feel the pain of her lustful deeds,
her glory; vilified
Author notes
Bride of Lucifer by noah kh atdeviantart.com Option#3
A contest entry
- Narrative Fantasy Poems by Demington.
950 points, ended October 22, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just in Time For October by realism-vs-romance.
525 points, ended November 13, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Fantasy World Members Contest & AP by ennovy.
700 points, ended December 1, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Maleficent Masterpieces by Miss Macabre.
800 points, ended July 26, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is one poem that deserves more than just an HM, Bronze or silver. This is GOLD. And it is something that could and should be worked on for a longer and well done book. Honey, you did wonderful here, and I love it, but not as much as I love you.
With all my love,
Joann
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This is a good macabre poem, wonderful vocabulary and decent flow. An enjoyable read, thanks for entering and good luck.
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unique clever dark and full of imagery......thank you for entering my contest.......novy
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Its a very long piece, but it keeps readers attention.
I found myself ignoring the picture at first, then looking at it after I finished reading, and the piece descibes the picture, not the picture describing the piece.
Very well written, and an excellent read.
Good luck in the contest.
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I think I read this before but didn't comment. I'll comment now: it reads just right, and it must have been pretty much what the judge was looking for, because you got the little brown jug. Congratulations. I enjoyed reading it.
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I'll have to keep reading this over and over, but it didn't seem long winded at all! I thought every stanza was needed and I loved it! I personally wouldn't change anyting. I like it just the way it is.
mylee -
Not what I'm looking for? Well, I suppose I could lie and say its not, but I've never been a fan of lies.
This, this is almost exactly what I'm looking for. The subject matter runs a tad short on originality, but you definitely took preexisting ideas and gave them a personal twist.
I felt that, at moments, your momentum teetered on the edge of being longwinded. While this wasn't necessarily an issue, I think that I felt this way because of how vibrant your imagery was, most of the time. Some of the lines you use are just exquisite!
And I would suggest continuing to work on this until all you're left with is the exquisite. I only point this out because the potential this poem bears in comparision to its already admirable form is great.
A finalist.
Blessings,
C
ps-if you want to work on it some more, just message me and I will give it another look. Either way, great work.
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I would like to tinker with this poem for the evening if that would be alright
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AWESOME!
Just message me when you're done. You can tinker all you like until the contest closes. Just let me know.
Blessings, C
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I just got shivers down my spine. I really love all your poems and when they are filled with fantasy like this. I love it even more. I just absolutely love the vivid imagery, beautiful flow and incredible rhymes in this piece. Well done Boog!
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This truly is smartly and richly textured poem!
So many well written stanza's to choose from:
Hunting down pure decency,
to scorch their future fold
Atrocities the size of God ,
left there to behold.
BRAVO! BRAVO!
flamesdragoness
WE Salute you!
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Ode to Satan sung each day,
by the armies of death that feed
The wicked she plays to fit the time,
as she saunters out in the lead
Awesome stanza. I love the whole damn thing! Way to go!!! Good luck in the contest! A winner!
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