megaphone voices create black and white notes
in the atmosphere;
changing tones and producing sounds
that sound like the rain and thunder
on my windowsill in the dead of night.
hesitantly,
you said ‘this isn’t the time or place;’
you were surrounded by too many people
to show your true colors.
-and the music played on.
Author notes
56 words.
this was inspired by 'night' and went on a slight tangent..
---
best PW from october contest:
mesmerized--x
Amaranthine Lover
In a list
A contest entry
- PIF QUICKIE by stylization.
300 points, ended October 7, 2008, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From October 2008 by amaranthine lover.
1550 points, ended November 22, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I love the soft gentleness of this!
-
This really isn't fair, how you are able to write something so truly amazing with just fifty six words. I love it to death. There's gorgeous imagery in here; I love the way you carried the story. Thank you so much for entering!
-
-
thanks so much
im glad you liked it.
thanks for holding the contest it really inspired me to write
♥
-
-
Ohkay, so WOW. How do you do it? You make your poems so powerful with so little words. 56, to be exact This poem is brillianttt. I'm likee in complete awe right now. haha
-megaphone voices create black and white notes
in the atmosphere;
changing tones and producing sounds
that sound like the rain and thunder
on my windowsill in the dead of night.
//
Loved the whole "megaphone voices"; veryveryveryyy creative & unique. I love the whole structure of that line. Along with the second line, "in the atmosphere." Whoaaa. I love how you compared that. Ahmazingg ! Also, you finished this stanza wonderfully :]
-hesitantly,
you said ‘this isn’t the time or place;’
you were surrounded by too many people
to show your true colors.
-and the music played on.
//
Yeahhh pretty much love that stanza ! It's so pure & trueee. & the last line? Definitely my favorite. Beautiful, babe Good luckk in that contest!♥
-
oh wow i love how you carried the theme of music through this without being cliche or repeating ideas.
it's beautiful
the last line is my favorite
-
Oh my Allah.
I think this is one of your best pieces.
:]
Love you lots ♥
-Mary -
-
aww thanks babess♥
glad you liked :]
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
