Her smooth and flawless skin of light milk chocolate hue,
her hair in neat black curls, sparkled like morning dew.
Her deep brown eyes like the mirrors of her soul,
twinkling with merriment as your heart she gently stole.
Her voice sweet and melodic at home in any key,
could even reach the highest note, so talented was she.
She approached the footlights amidst noisy acclaim,
a nervous smile upon her face a star in all but name.
Right on cue her lovely voice with both clarity and tone,
rang out across the theatre which was soon her comfort zone.
The crowd were mesmerised in silence right to the very end,
then tumultous thunderclap applause bucked every normal trend.
As she stepped back from the limelight her confidence restored,
the judges had to choose who’ d won the meritous award.
To the hundreds who applauded her it came as no surprise,
the little girl who stole their hearts had won the treasured prize.
Author notes
Birthday Greetings Dark Otter
JUDMC Let it rock
A contest entry
- 2 year anniversary! by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended October 27, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for rhyming poems... PW of Oct'08 is allowed by Manoj Sanyal.
370 points, ended October 18, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - just another prompt by Lavender Butterfly.
550 points, ended November 2, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 3 years on AP ! by Anu-Nataraj.
500 points, ended January 14, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bells on her fingers and rings on her toes by Judith Chandler.
700 points, ended October 18, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Evanescence Songs by BrokenAtBest.
400 points, ended October 23, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest - round 1 by serenity silvermoon.
929 points, ended October 12, 459 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest 1st come 1st serve by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended November 14, 406 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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Thank you for entering. The description was beautiful and it does relate to "the contestant" really well.
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I like this dancer. You had my attention all the way through.
Thank you for entering my contest. -
Reading list poem
Lovely character study expressed in good poetic form, thanks for your participation in our reading list activity.
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Wow this is awesome!
it flows so nicely and is greatly filled with tons of imagery! i just adore this one! GREAT JOB! 
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Reading list
This is an charming poem of enchantment and rare talent experienced. Great rhyme and flow in this story telling write. Well done!
Brother Dennis
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Outstanding
I liked the way you created a real sense of her singing with all the encouragement of the crowd and then winning the contest. It is a great little story and the rhyme and flow were excellent throughout. I am not surprised that this has won so many trophies.
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I love the descriptions. Pretty.
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This is a beautiful poem with great rhyme rhythm and flow. Thank you for entering the contest.
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Beautiful....
Thank you for entering and good luck
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To me this is a poem. I'm not clear of the song in this. It is really good, awesome even, but...can you tell me which part is the chorus. Thanx 4 entering. ROCK ON! - cgirl0410
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Amazing job.
Nice poem, nice imagery, metaphors, and it was nicely written and nicely done. I enjoyed reading it. It was peaceful and tranquil.
Evemauy
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Thanks for entering.
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THANKS FOR ENTERING!
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Thanks for entering.
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ohmygod !!
this is amazing..i mormaalllyyyy don like rhymes in long sentences..but trust me..i made this an exception !!
amazing write !lovely talent !beautiful words !stupendous flow !
SPEECHLESS !!
good luck -
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Cold-Lemonade
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Contestant" glad you enjoyed it.Best Wishes and Kind Regards....George....
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I loved the flow and rythm, impeccable. Good job
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You paint a beautiful picture!
Story telling in poetic form is a difficult challenge. Though some parts do not mesh completely, overall, your piece is descriptive, very visual and emotionally compelling. Thank you for your wonderful birthday gift.
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Dark Otter
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Contestant" if you would
point out which lines do not mesh I would be only too pleased to make
the neccesary adjustments. Best Wishes ....George -
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I read again and again!
Certain of the verb tenses didn't seem to be right (past and present). But after the third and fourth reads I came to the conclusion that I am in error not you. The rhyme at the end of the third stanza is the only line that bothers me. It feels forced, breaking the flow of what I feel otherwise is a pretty good poem.
I looked at one other possibility
Her deep brown eyes were the mirrors of her soul,
twinkling with merriment, as your heart she gently stole.
Once again, I looked at my changes and can't find the reason why they would work better.
My criticism is unwarranted in that I can't explain what feels wrong. So, know that your poem is a good piece and needs to be judged in that light.
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Dark Otter
Re "The Contestant" I have inserted the word "Were" mesmerised this
equalises the syllable count and consenquently sounds better.
Thanks for taking the time and trouble to help... Best Wishes and
Kindest Regards... George
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that was beautiful! Thanks for entering!
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Thank you for your contest entry
i thouroughly enjoyed it
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nice job with the rhyme and the imagery let me watch along as things progressed. Thank you for entering
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Hi - thanks for entering my contest - I enjoyed this. Best of luck!
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This piece has me yearning for a little knowledge about the contestant's history, but it's an excellent capturing of her moment of triumph. I'm a singer myself, and I can well relate to the feelings of trepidation one has facing a crowd as one prepares to perform. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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Abariel Raven
Many Thanks for your kind comments on"Truth" so glad you liked most of it 7 out of 10's not bad.Best Truthful Wishes. George -
FAH faithandhope
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "Darwin's Chair" so glad you liked it Best Wishes George -
RatherImaginative
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Contestant" as this is
a product of my vivid imagination and is not based on any particular singer so unfortunately I cannot give you "her history".I have had to make this kind of reassertion over my other "Story Poems".They are all products of an eighty four year old imagination.Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George +++
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A beautiful poem!! I enjoyed the 3rd and 4th lines especially, and the way you conveyed your ideas was beautiful! This really made me feel good and I definately sat up and take notice! Great write, and good luck in the contest!
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fabulous flow and rhythm ~ so cleverly portrayed... x
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What an uplifting poem. I can see her on the stage glowing. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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This is a sweet little poem. A pleasant read. And I like the background because it is a soothing color. Your poem flows well and is enjoyable. I like the little girl character too. Thanks for entering this into my contest.
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Very good George had I been judge this would be the winner. Happy trails
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Lovely poem George, just lovely. Your description of the little girl brings her to life as I read.
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Nicely done. Great poem!! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
sydney -
nice poem...
Good luck,
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this is a great write. flows very nicely. thanks for entering!
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You may re-enter after you've followed the rules, thx.
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This was cute. Great flow and great rhyme
-Faded -
very nice
lots of lovely adj.s were here and i think that you did a very good job
thank you so much and good luck
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