Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Fading Memory

Missing image

 

 

She still comes to the park
only now, she comes alone

she doesn’t like the solitude
but she gets lost in her thoughts,
her memories
in their special place

cries and squeals,
and happy laughter
disturb her for a moment

she half smiles
choking back the tears
looking through misty eyes
at bright smiling faces

sees for one second
him, her little boy
but all too soon he fades
becoming a memory
once more

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

The Picture is the prompt.

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f304/luvlessromance/asfd.jpg

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • BluesMan gold member
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This piece plucks at the heartstrings of a parents grief I have a six year old daughter who is my heart and I can't even begin to imagine what you have so sadly penned here


  • parenchma
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i spoke of the reverse of this at my sunday afternoon poetry reading; how it was easier to remember my father with the frail shadow of him smiling back at me. Now it is a struggle to dive passed the pain of loss to get to the memories.


  • brittany.geeze
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww this is such a sad and touching poem.
    its vivid, i was reading through it and could see everything that was going on with your words right beside it.

    brilliant job in my eyes, good luck!


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I think that the simplicity of this works so well, if you were to "sophisticate-it-up" with crazy vocabulary and techniques, it would ruin the effect.
    I also think that the simplicity is quite ironic when you think about the chaos that one feels upon the loss or disappearance of a loved one.
    Very well done.

    ITNC


  • arafura gold member
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So very sad. Beautifully penned my friend!


  • moonbumps silver member
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lost for words-for once!
    Hilly xxx


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is very sad!! You did do a lovely job portraying this!! You gave great details and descriptions!! But this poem is very touching!! I hope that this did not happen to you!!! Very well written!!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow.. that's so sad and touching Sue! I wasn't expecting it to be her little boy

    A stunning write! Love your freeverse as much as your rhyme!


  • Stride
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, that's so sad! Darling, I hope this was not inspired by your experiences. It's so light and unintrusive, and yet if you really listen it bears so much bitter-sweet greif. So sad, but so wonderfully done!

1 - 9 of 9