facing your horizon
I watch you rise -
lick the salt from your skin
see the stars in your eyes
reckless abandon; deserted island of you
with sand between toes and a beautiful view
bouncing on the clouds
your hand in mine
I drink you; I’m drunk
on the sweetest of wine
commanded by instinct, no choice to be made
we bask in our heat without any shade
as I taste the sugar
frosting your lips
your celestial shadow
becomes my eclipse
Its only us now, as the world slips away
so fold my page corners- its here that I’ll stay
facing your horizon
I watch you rise -
lick the salt from your skin
see the stars in your eyes
Author notes
yeah Im experimenting again. 
A contest entry
- Can you smell the sweat in the air? [it's lovee] by Eyes Wide Shut.
1500 points, ended October 30, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - rawr I want good love poetry!!!! by Live with a passion.
600 points, ended November 15, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
This is very interesting. It leave me wondering what got you in such an experimental mood. You must certainly have had an impulse. It's so descriptive. And, I love the drinking in getting drunk of the new wine of that someone special.
-
Your Best Ever
"lick the salt from your skin"
Clearly the love of a cat
I knew you were one of us when
I read of your licking like that
Tiki Cat
Buy Tiki's Gourmet Cat Food
"Too Good For Humans"
-
I like your experimenting Jamie. Nice work again...certainly grabbed my attention in this. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
-
well writen and very grasping
im touched. (L) -
Beautiful
One wonderful love poem as love poems go. Perfect flow. Excellent write poet.
-
I enjoyed your poem very much. Very beautifully written. Love the line "see the stars in your eyes".
Mahalo
-
WOW
wow sis this is great i loved it so did ya miss me
artemis
A.K.A
death-raab -
hey!
this one is a great write. Period.
can't say anything more rather than you never fail to amuse me with your works.
-
deliciously tantalyzing
I absolutely love every line of this poem, as they are very close to my heart...remembering views shared and looking forward to the beautiful future horizons in store...these lines are my favorite though...
"Its only us now, as the world slips away
so fold my page corners- its here that I’ll stay"
...my page corners are folded and forever will I stay in the wonderful feel of your arms.
I love my sweet, little Chicken!!
-
This is a beautiful piece by you. So very romantic and sensual with vivid imagery. Good luck in the contests you should win some gold trophies for this one.
-
This is beautifully written. I loved the vivid imagery, repetition of words and how it had an amazin flow to it. Great work.
-
i love the imagery in this. great job ^^ you're an amazing poet.
-
Hmm...dear girl. I dare to disagree & say that this is very much a forte for you. This is lovely. Passionate & loving while maintaining a very sexy undercurrent. The last two lines are really quite good. Lovely job, Miss!
-
Very romantic! A feast for the senses. Keep them coming my friend! I love reading your poems as your writing is terrific!
-
wow
This is really passionate I enjoyed reading it immensely you such a ability of description really loved this write nice one
-
This is so amazing...
Probably one of my favorite love poems that I've ever read.
-
How much better could this possibly be if you were comfortable writing love poems. It is beautiful.
-
tastefully written
not much to say, except that I like it.
rudolf
-
This is wonderful... soft, sensual and full of unrequitted love,... oh to be that someone that has someone who feels like this about them...
loving the structure you have used, as always, your rhyme is effortless... truly just a beautiful poem
-
Ooh this is a really beautiful poem...seriously it just made my jaw drop to the floor lol. I especially loved the lines "As I taste the sugar salted on your lips your celestial shadow becomes my eclipse" - absolutely enthralling. Thank you for sharing this with me and I wish you the best of luck in your life and writing.
-
Gorgeous
I loved it all the way through...love poems can be overrated, but your work is anything but. I promise, I may not be a famous poet, but I know something good when I read it.mandie
-
Lovely poem with a lot to say with a few words. Beautiful sentiments laid bare in a way that actually took me above this world and flew me across that sky to see your horizon. Romantic in its approach, it certainly told someone how much you cared for them.
-
I love this sensual poem. It's beautiful and romantic. The use of repetition is very effective. Good luck to you in the contest!
-
Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
Excellent
'tis a very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for shariing this one with us. -
Appears
It appears the beaches are getting lots of attention from your ink as of the last couple of poems. "Sand" And D.D. (island of you) I guess guys who hang out on the beach have all the luck huh? ... Nice poem. Gonna run out on my beach and have a look around right now. Haha...
-
Wow!!
Ok, so I officially love when you experiment because this is soooo great. Seriously!
I love the stanza:
"facing your horizon
I watch you rise -
lick the salt from your skin
see the stars in your eyes"
I'm so glad that you now have such fine inspiration for your poetry, because lately everything you've written has been utterly amazing! Give us more! lol
-
this is so beautifully written.....I love your choice of words and how you weaved such a wonderful image out of ink....er pixels since its on the computer...you know what i mean.
my favorite line was
Its only us now, as the world slips away
so fold my page corners- its here that I’ll stay
I love that. This poem is amazing, and portrays a wonderful and amazing image that i want to look at every day. -
OUTSTANDING
Such a moving write, so beautiful...I love when you experiment, always provides my weary eyes with a tasty treat!
-
Oh wow this is amazingly beautiful :]
You portrayed the love in this piece amazing, your imagery was brilliant.
Thanks!
-
Wow this is truly beautiful!! I have to say you write Amazing poems!! They are so lovely and all well portrayed!! You did an excellent job!! You never cease to impress me!! I love it!!
-
Awesome.
This is absolutely awesome. I have never read anything like it. Keep up the Great Work!
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
